My therapist told me that time heals all wounds. So I stabbed him, now we wait.
Technically we have all been deeper in our mom than our dads have.
Why is USA so bad at chess
Because they already lost two towers
Why was Stephen Hawking a bad influence towards kids? Because he couldn’t stand for anything
What do you call an acid with a bad attitude?
A-Mean-O-Acid
Why did the clock eat so fast?
He wanted to go in for SECONDS! Super bad Huh?
all then are bad
What's the difference between dad jokes and bad jokes?
The letter b
Why did the orphan kid was bad a school cause he wanted a phone call home
What did one tree say to another in a crisis? Don't leaf me when things get bad.
What is the difference between shroud and a shroud imposter
Shroud uses reddit, and the imposter uses WJE
reddit king and q, i really dgaf what you say, you guys are practically obsessed with me cuz ur leaving hate comments on almost all my jokes, so stop, your obviously gonna look bad if you just insult meh jokes
If you guys dont like my jokes, you can just dislike and not leave a comment, ok?
What is burned dark and glued to the wall?
A bad electrician.
Jim's car is swerving all over the road, so a cop pulls him over. "Step out of the car," says the cop. "I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test." "I can't," Jim responds. "You see, I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack." "Alright," says the cop, "then you're going to have to take a blood test." "Can't do that either," Jim responds. "I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won't stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death." "Ok," the cop answers, "then I will need a urine sample." "Sorry," says Jim, "I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low." "Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me." "Can't do that either," responds Jim. "Why not?" demanded the exasperated cop. "Well, because I'm drunk!"
I got so bad about cutting myself every time I went to the bathroom I wanted to break my jacket zipper off and use that
What do you call a bad piece of wood? Knotty.
One day little Jonny and little Susan were in bible class and little susan had been tired that day so she kept falling asleep and the teacher said to little susan who is our lord and savier and little jonny poked her in the but with a push pin and she yelled JESUS CHRIST and the teacher goes thats right go back to be and then the next thing the teacher asked who gave up there son for our sins and little jonny poked her again and she yelled GOD AL MIGHTY and she says thats right go back to bed and the next quisten the teacher asked was what did ADAM SAY TO EVE after there 13th child little jonny poked her in the but again she yelled IF YOU STICK TAHT THING IN ME AGAIN I AM GOING TO BREAK IT IN HALF AND SHUV IT UP YOUR OWN ASS AND SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT
A boy asked his dad for a some money to buy an ice-cream with. So he went to an icecream van. Whilst he was in the queue 2 boys asked him what flavour he was getting he told them strawberry. The two boys were shocked and beat him up. The icecream man felt bad and gave him his strawberry ice-cream for free. When he got home his dad also asked what flavour he bought the boy said strawberry. His dad then kicked him out of the house. The boy confused walked down the street and was stopped buy the police who were looking for a boy who had been eating strawberry ice-cream. The boy said thats me and the policeman arrested him. A week later in court the boy was on trial. The judge asked, ''can you tell me what were you doing on the fith of may''(the day he was arrested) the boy said I was eatimg ice-cream. Yhe judge decided he was innocent. On the way out the judge asked him what the flavour was (he had forgotten to ask during the trial). Of course he answered with strawberry the judge horrified realised he had given the wrong verdict and the boy should have been executed. Unfortunately he couldn't change what had happened so the boy walked out and crossed the road but was hit by a car and died. The moral of the story is look left and right before crossing the road
Wonder why the British are so good at chess? They have the queen.
Wonder why Americans are so bad at chess? They lost two towers.
Man 1: I-I ran my mom over to get a stupid book. Man 2: aww books aren't that bad. I'm sure she thinks you're a great son considering she can't drive anymore. Man 1: She was in the road and I was rushing to get the last copy of this book. She can't drive or do anything anymore
You really can't call starlin bad just think about the kids that depression.
