Back jokes

What do you call a dead woman in the back of your car?

Idk, I just have a couple in the backseat.

Tj's hairline is so far back, Blue's Clues can't find it.

What do you call a retreat in war?

A backup plan.

My dad coming back.

Johnny is very attached to his parents. He asks to take a shower with her when she gets in. He looks down and asks, "What's that?" The mother replies, "That's my garage." He looks up and asks, "What are those?" The mother responds, "Those are my headlights."

He then goes and takes a shower with his dad. He looks down, "Daddy, what's that?" The dad replies, "That's my car." He goes to sleep that night and wakes up because of a bad dream. He goes and tells his mother and she says, "You can lay with me." He falls fast asleep then wakes up once more because of falling off the bed. He gets back up and gets under the covers. Then he feels the bed moving. He looks under the covers to investigate and sees them going at it. He then yells, "Mommy, turn on you're headlights, Daddy's parking his car in you're garage!" *THUD*

There was this kid who was going to take a girl to the dance. He had fancy clothes, fancy shoes, etc. Finally, the day of the dance came. He happily drove over to the girl's house. When he got there, he said to her father, "thank you for this moment, have a great night".

At the dance, the girl asks the boy, "can I have some food?" He gladly replies "yes" and walks over to the food trucks, only to see a huge line. So he waits in line for like 30 minutes. He comes back to the girl, and she says, "thank you so much, I really needed something to eat". Then she asks for some sweets and a soda. Again the boy waits in line for about 30-45 minutes. Then he comes back, and she says, "thank you SOOOO much". Then she says she has one more request. The boy, (now clearly agitated) says, "what is it?" She says, can I have some punch? SO the boy walks over to the punch table, but to his surprise, there was no punch line.

What's grosser than gross? A truckload of dead babies.

What's grosser than that? A live one at the bottom.

What's grosser than that? When he eats his way out.

Grosser than that? When he goes back for more.

I just finished my fourth round of baby back ribs. For some reason, everyone else at the abortion center is staring at me.

Fat people are like the Twin Towers. Once they go down, they don’t come back up.

Why does Santa come down the chimney? Because he knows he isn't allowed to come in the back door.

Why is reverse cowgirl illegal in Alabama? Because you should never turn your back on family.

How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?

They only have a back door.

Yo mama so ugly, when she was born, the doctor tried to put her back in.

I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.

A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"

What do you do when a woman is choking?

Back up a couple inches.

Your hair is so far back, you left it at your last address.

Your hairline is so far back it was friends with the dinosaurs!

A friend called me a while back saying, "I have COVID.... I can't breathe, I really have a hard time breathing."

I reply saying, "Dude, you need to work on your George Floyd jokes."

What’s the speed limit in bed?

It’s 68. Once you hit 69, you have to turn back around.

Dad: What did you learn in school today?

Timmy: Not enough, I guess, 'cause I gotta go back tomorrow.