Back jokes

Your hairline is so far back, even Shaggy and Scooby ran away!

Why did the squirrel swim on its back?

So it didn't get its nuts wet.

So Fred accidentally cut off John's ear with his spade.

John and Fred were digging a ditch when Fred made a careless swipe with his spade and cut off John's ear.

"Help me find it in all this mud," said John. "If we find it, they can sew it back on."

After a couple of minutes, Fred triumphantly shouted, "Here it is," handing the ear to John.

"That's not it," said John, throwing the ear back into the muddy ditch. "Mine had a pencil behind it!"

You: Find a time clock that can change time.

Your friend the next day: Hey, can I borrow yo' house?

You: No, I'm trying to figure out what to do with my TIME!

Also you: Changes the time back to 1267 so you don't have to have that friend again.

I'm back on BIGO Live.

I am thinking of removing my spine.

It's only holding me back.

What's the difference between a boomerang and my dad?

My dad came back!

The man walks into a bar, reaches into his pocket, and pulls out a tiny piano and a tiny piano player. The piano player starts playing the piano. The guy next to him asks where he got that. The man says there is a genie out on the corner granting wishes.

So the man sitting next to him jumps up and runs outside. He says to the genie, "I want a million bucks." The genie snaps his fingers, and a million ducks appear in the road. The man comes back inside and says, "Hey, that genie is a little hard of hearing." The man says, "Well, did you really think I'd ask for a 12-inch pianist?"

Little Johnny: Hey, Dad, are you finally back with the milk?

Dad: Yea, but it's expired, so I'm going back to the "milk store" and get more (and not come back for a couple more years). :)

Your hair is so far back, you left it at your last address.

What does Matthew McConaughey say at the Republican convention...

We're gonna take back what is ours, alt right, alt right, alt right, hee heeeee...

Died and came back sped. I call that rien-tardation.

You're so awesome that the word 'awesome' demanded its title back!

Your hairline is so far back that Green Lantern became Blue Torch.

Your hairline is so far back that it goes all the way across the globe.

A dad is in a wheelchair and his daughter goes, "Don't step on a crack!"

Do you know the best thing about killing a hooker?

Not only do you get your money back, but the second hour is free.

Tell your adopted kid you want to take them back home and tell them their original parents want them, and get them all excited, then take them to the orphanage and tell them their parents died.

Guys, I'm back...

Here's my joke:

What is blue and red all over?

Blood in the water of a shark attack victim.

I stole a wheelchair. I knew the owner would come crawling back.