How did Mary get pregnant with baby Jesus?
God fucked her.
Baby Jokes
A boy asks his father:
"What is politics?"
Father answers:
"It’s very simple! You see, I bring in the money, so I’m big business. Your mother spends the money, so she’s the government.
Your grandfather sees to it that everything is managed in an orderly way. So he’s the law.
Our maid is the working class.
Everything revolves around your interests, so you’re the people. Your little baby brother represents the future."
The boy has to think it over. That night he hears his little brother crying due to a dirty diaper. He doesn’t know what to do, so he goes to the bedroom of his parents. There his mother is sound asleep. He goes to the bedroom of the maid, but his father is there fucking the maid — and oddly enough his grandfather is watching through the window.
Nobody notices the boy and he returns to his bed.
The next day his father asks him:
"So, can you now explain to me what politics is?"
The boy says:
"Yes, it’s all become clear to me!
Big business screws over the working class while the law watches and the government sleeps. The people are ignored and the future lies in shit."
Yo mama so old that her breastmilk was powdered. You breastfeed like this 🌬💨.
What do a 14-year-old pregnant girl and the child inside her have in common?
Both are thinking, “Oh no! My mom’s gonna kill me!”
Crying babies are like parties. No matter how many times you try to end it, it keeps going.
I ate a baby, it tasted like baby.
What's small and can't turn around in a hallway?
A baby with a javelin in its head!
Recently my baby did this:
🖕🏼👶🏼🖕🏼 🎽 👖
What do you call a premature Chinese baby birth? Wong Tai-Ming.
Guess what? I have a baby in ten trashcans.
My 2 year old Asian baby cant do calculus Look who in sweatshop now
What did the white baby say to his Chinese parents?
"Two wongs don’t make a white."
What did mommy spider say to baby spider?
You spend too much time on the web.
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
A bowling ball doesn't cry when you put your fingers in it.
What’s the difference between a baby and a baked potato?
About 140 calories.
"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"
Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his mom was in a jam!
I don't want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband.
I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was next to a crying baby.
Evidently that doesn't work if the baby is yours.
Why can't you fool an aborted baby?
Because it wasn't born yesterday.
