What do you call someone who kisses primary school kids?
Joshua Metcalfe
Mom: (Looking through Facebook) How adorable!
Kid: (Looking over her shoulder) What a cute ass!
The kid's mom blushes until she realizes what he was pointing to. It was a picture of a baby donkey.
The real question is, what was she looking at on the same screen that made her blush at that remark?
How do you get 500 dead babies into a car?
A blender.
How do you get 500 dead babies out of a car?
A straw.
What's the difference between a rock and a dead baby?
You can't fuck a rock.
What's better than throwing dead babes?
Catching them after with a pitchfork.
Yo mama so hairy,when the baby came out,the baby died because of carpet burning
I know a baby carrot when I see one.
What is worse to have - a dead baby or a dead Santa Claus?
Santa. You need extra freezers for reindeer.
Have you ever seen a baby unicorn? No! Because unicorns are gay rainbows in equine form.
What happens when you bring a paedophile to a baby's birthday party?
You will have even more birthday parties to go to.
What do you call a baby that came out of their mother's womb? A virgin.
what's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? the trampoline doesn't cave in when i jump on it.