What do you call someone who kisses primary school kids?
Joshua Metcalfe
Mom: (Looking through Facebook) How adorable!
Kid: (Looking over her shoulder) What a cute ass!
The kid's mom blushes until she realizes what he was pointing to. It was a picture of a baby donkey.
The real question is, what was she looking at on the same screen that made her blush at that remark?
How do you get 500 dead babies into a car?
A blender.
How do you get 500 dead babies out of a car?
A straw.
What’s red and cries?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
What's the difference between a rock and a dead baby?
You can't fuck a rock.
What's better than throwing dead babes?
Catching them after with a pitchfork.
Yo mama so hairy,when the baby came out,the baby died because of carpet burning
I know a baby carrot when I see one.
What's worse than 2 dead babies in a trash bin? Two babies in one trash bin.
What is worse to have - a dead baby or a dead Santa Claus?
Santa. You need extra freezers for reindeer.
Q: what is the difference between a pizza and a baby? A: the pizza does not scream when you put it in the oven.
Have you ever seen a baby unicorn? No! Because unicorns are gay rainbows in equine form.
What happens when you bring a paedophile to a baby's birthday party?
You will have even more birthday parties to go to.
When Chinese babies are born, they should put "MADE FROM CHINA."
What do you call a baby that came out of their mother's womb? A virgin.
What's better than swinging a baby around on a rope?
Stopping it with a shovel.
what's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? the trampoline doesn't cave in when i jump on it.
Q: Why did the baby cross the road?
A: It wasn't in its car seat.
What's meaner than taking candy from a baby?
Throwing the baby off a cliff.
What's the difference between $1 million and baby teeth?
I don't have $1 million in my wallet.
