Baby jokes
Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense. Baby, we didn’t spend all that time in the closet for nothing.
You know a piranha can devour a small child in 30 seconds. Anyway, I lost my job at the aquarium today.
Knob Klondike, I want Ellen. Poobiess, please. I want big juicy pobs in me right now. Ellen girl, give milk boob to me with good Pochyy, babie.
How do Asians name their babies?
They throw pots and pans around.
"Ching, Chang, Clang!"
What’s red and goes 100 miles per hour?
Babies in a blender.
What do you call a baby potato?
Small fry!
How do I feed the baby with my pants on?
I was going to tell a joke about babies, but I decided to abort.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
One day, a leaf asks Mom, "Mom, why am I named Leaf?"
Mom says, "Because when you were a baby, a leaf fell on your head."
The next day, Feather asks Mom, "Mommy, why am I named Feather?"
Mom says, "When you were a baby, a feather fell on your head."
The next day, Brick asks Mom, "Rhsisvrkanx!"
Mom says, "Shut up, Brick!"
What's the difference between a million dollars and a million dead babies?
I don't have a million dollars laying around my house.
Baby 🍼
What's the difference between Jesus and a dead, naked baby?
I don't worship Jesus.
What time is it when you can smell smoke inside?
Time to get outside!
If olive oil is made of olives, then baby oil is made of...
What time do babies get dirty?
Playtime.
Why are lamps so scared? Because someone might throw them away.
Why do dead babies cry? Just kidding, they are dead.
Why are baby elephants so smart? They hang out with friends!
Why are cows 🐮 so big? To scare babies 👶.