Away Jokes

You know why pedophiles get away with molesting children?

Because who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.

The tent pole is up, The canvas is spread, The hell with breakfast, Come back to bed.

Take the tent pole down, Put the canvas away, The monkey had a hemorrhage, No circus today.

Stephen Hawking died because he was too far away from the Wi-Fi router.

Why can you punch an orphan and get away with it?

Because what is he gonna do, tell his parents?

I know people don’t really like cat puns, but mine are PURRety good.

Did you CATch that one? No? Because you are in a bad mood? You should WISKER those feelings away. We should PAWnder ways to fix your mood. Just remember to keep CLAWing at the problem. I am glad I can help MEW.

Anyone got any good Floyd jokes? I really need them to take my breath away.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?

You would too if your name was "Raraaaughhaugh."

There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, they decide they don't like living in an asylum anymore. They decide they're going to escape!

So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. You see... You see, he's afraid of falling.

So then, the first guy has an idea... He says "Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!" B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says "Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!"

Yo mamma so fat, when she tried to sit down the chair ran away.

"Kobe is known for fade aways too bad he faded away."

One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”

What did the policeman shout to the cow running away?

"Get to the ground, beef!"

"Jimmy Jimmy, Yes Papa,"

"Give away my Money, No Papa,"

"Telling Lies, OK, Ima Check my Bank Account."

You're so ugly your hairline ran away!

I saw an orphan on the road. I asked him if he's an orphan. The kid says, "Yeah, what gave it away?"

I say, "Your parents."

Your hairline is so far back, when your forehead was playing tag, your hairline ran away real far.

Your hairline is so far away that Jesus could've seen it when he was on the cross.

Your hairline's so far back that Usain Bolt had to run 50 miles away from you!

Why did the orphan run away?

They wanted to go home.

Your hairline is so far back, even Shaggy and Scooby ran away!