Away jokes

I saw a kid wearing tatty rags on a curb, so I asked, "Are you an orphan?"

"Yes," he replied. "What gave me away?" He asked, "Your parents," I said.

I had a friend who got shot in the head.

Guess you could say he was...

Blown Away!

Why do pedos hate corona? Because they have to stay two meters away from children. 😈

The tent pole is up, The canvas is spread, The hell with breakfast, Come back to bed.

Take the tent pole down, Put the canvas away, The monkey had a hemorrhage, No circus today.

My neighbor is in the Guinness World Records.

He has had 44 concussions. He lives very close to me.

A stone’s throw away, in fact.

Stephen Hawking died because he was too far away from the Wi-Fi router.

Why can you punch an orphan and get away with it?

Because what is he gonna do, tell his parents?

You know why pedophiles get away with molesting children?

Because who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.

I know people don’t really like cat puns, but mine are PURRety good.

Did you CATch that one? No? Because you are in a bad mood? You should WISKER those feelings away. We should PAWnder ways to fix your mood. Just remember to keep CLAWing at the problem. I am glad I can help MEW.

Anyone got any good Floyd jokes? I really need them to take my breath away.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?

You would too if your name was "Raraaaughhaugh."

There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, they decide they don't like living in an asylum anymore. They decide they're going to escape!

So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. You see... You see, he's afraid of falling.

So then, the first guy has an idea... He says "Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!" B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says "Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!"

I went to a tall girl and I asked her, "What do you do for a living?" She says, "An account." So I reply with, "An accounting the hairs on people's heads," and then I run away.

What does 6 tell 7?

"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!"

You and your sister always get into a fight and she says, "I don't care." Then you say right away, "About you!"

Why did the homophobic boy get fired from the banana factory?

He kept throwing away the bent ones!

"Kobe is known for fade aways too bad he faded away."

Your hairline is so far away that Jesus could've seen it when he was on the cross.

Your hairline is so far back, even Shaggy and Scooby ran away!

Your hairline's so far back that Usain Bolt had to run 50 miles away from you!