Aviation jokes
Bin Laden's relatives died in a plane crash on 8/1! #justice
A blind pilot walks into a plane waving his walking stick.
The passengers all look at each other in disbelief. The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,
"Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the captain is legally blind, but rest assured, he is one of the best pilots in the world with over six thousand successful flights."
Next the co-pilot makes his way to the plane, and he is also blind and uses his walking stick to make it to the cabin.
The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,
"Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the co-pilot is also blind, but rest assured, he is the second-best pilot in the world with over five thousand successful flights."
At this point, the plane begins to take off from the runway. As it gains speed, the passengers grow tenser. The plane keeps accelerating more and more, and as it approaches the end of the runway, it still hasn't left the ground. The plane is approaching the end of the runway at high speed, and the passengers scream, "Oh my God, we're all going to die!"
Suddenly, the plane takes off and begins its ascent.
The pilot turns to the co-pilot and says, "The day they stop screaming, we're screwed."
What do you call a war dodo named Bob in WW2 and he came from Mars?
Bruno Mars.
Give a man a plane ticket, and he’ll fly for a day.
Push a man from a plane, and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.
What was the last pizza order at the World Trade Center?
Two large planes.
2001, Angry Birds was so amazing. Over 500 people in 2 birds.
You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.
Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.
You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"
You know how there were like... two towers. I had so much fun playing Jenga in those planes! I WON!!!!!
Stop making jokes about 9/11. My dad died in 9/11.
Best pilot of Southern Arabia
Allahu Akbar.
My Grandpa was supposed to be in 9/11, but airport security got him.
Yo mama so fat that when she attempted suicide, she bounced to Area 51.
9/11 jokes just don't fly around me.
All these 9/11 jokes need to stop.
My uncle died in 9/11. At least he died doing what he loves: flying planes.
There was a person inside who needed help from the police, but the police changed their number, so he ordered a party with pizzas from 2 airplanes, but the pilots were stupid, so they put people instead of pizzas, and one landed on the 93rd floor and the 94th floor, literally.
Q: Why was the pilot sad?
A: 'Cause he was bad at playing Jenga. 💀
What do dropouts and Boeing 767s have in common?
They crash and burn.
It was women driving the planes for 9/11.
What do you call a terrorist that can fly?
A dart.
My dad died in 9/11. At least he did what he loves best: flying planes.
What do you call a Flying Pilot? Because he can go pee on the plane!