Aviation jokes
Did you know there was food on the plane that caused 9/11?
It was the bomb.
If you give someone a plane ticket, they will fly for a day, but if you push them out of a plane, they'll fly for the rest of their life.
My father told me to always carry a women's bag, but I don't know why he called the cops on me when I helped Mom's bag when we went parachuting. :(
Osama Bin Laden is his name.
Crashing planes is his game.
You've been hit by, You've been struck by, Planes!
Q: What did the terrorist say during a plane flight? A: “Wow! This flight is the bomb!”
- Why is that flight waiting at 30,000 feet height?
- One tire became flat. They are changing it in the middle of the journey.
All these 9/11 jokes need to stop.
My uncle died in 9/11. At least he died doing what he loves: flying planes.
What is the national bird of Iran?
An American drone.
Let's hope the new tower doesn't go plane watching like the old ones.
North Tower: "Hey, South Tower, we can talk later; I gotta catch a plane!"
When the Two Towers ordered pizza, all they got was plane.
Give a man a plane ticket and he will fly for a day.
Push a man out of a plane and he will fly for the rest of his life.
A hired gun gets on a private plane to his next contract. Halfway through the trip, he notices the plane rapidly losing altitude. So he opens that back of the plane and starts tossing out everything he doesn't need: grenades, guns, ammo—unless it was bolted down, it went out. He stopped throwing things out when the plane started to regain altitude.
When the plane lands, he sees some kids giggling on the side of the road. "What's so funny?" he asks.
"Daddy farted and the house blew up," said a singed little boy.
Your forehead [is] so big that if I drew an H on it, Kobe could have landed there.
Me: Opens the window to get some fresh air.
Everyone else on the plane: 😟...😱
I know a good airplane joke, but it would probably go over your heads.
The twin towers: No, it won't.
"Hi, plane," said the tower.
Your hairline is so far back, a pilot thought it was an airplane.
A blind pilot walks into a plane waving his walking stick.
The passengers all look at each other in disbelief. The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,
"Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the captain is legally blind, but rest assured, he is one of the best pilots in the world with over six thousand successful flights."
Next the co-pilot makes his way to the plane, and he is also blind and uses his walking stick to make it to the cabin.
The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,
"Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the co-pilot is also blind, but rest assured, he is the second-best pilot in the world with over five thousand successful flights."
At this point, the plane begins to take off from the runway. As it gains speed, the passengers grow tenser. The plane keeps accelerating more and more, and as it approaches the end of the runway, it still hasn't left the ground. The plane is approaching the end of the runway at high speed, and the passengers scream, "Oh my God, we're all going to die!"
Suddenly, the plane takes off and begins its ascent.
The pilot turns to the co-pilot and says, "The day they stop screaming, we're screwed."
One day, I was just chillin', being a tower. I saw a plane, but it was slowly growing.
Then it hit me.