Aviation jokes

"Learn to fly a plane," they said. "It'll be fun," they said...

Leave a man on a plane, and he flies for a day.

Throw a man off a plane, and he flies for the rest of his life.

Why were the Twin Towers mad during 9/11?

They ordered pepperoni pizza, but instead got plane.

I don’t usually tell 9/11 jokes, they usually crash and burn.

I know a good airplane joke, but it would probably go over your heads.

The twin towers: No, it won't.

Stop with the 9/11 jokes.

They're not gonna fly.

Have I told you the joke about the airplane? Ah, forget it, it probably just went over your head.

My dad died during 9/11, he was the best pilot in all Saudi Arabia.

According to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground, but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don't care about what humans think is impossible.

Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black.

Chesley, in horror, runs out of the cockpit of the plane coming from London, "I'm so very sorry, everyone. I punched the wrong buttons, and we are heading to DC instead of New York, and we are about to run out of fuel." He opens the door and turns around to the five passengers and exclaimed, "I've parachutes but miscounted. We only got four for the passengers." He jumps off.

Donald faced the other four and orders:

"I'm the greatest leader of the world, and I'll make the decision. Tony, you go first. Our country needs you. The whole wide world needs you. Pandemic is raging."

Tony jumps off.

"Francis, my friend, you go next. Pandemic is ravaging the mind and body of millions. Their soul needs saving. Save Vladimir's and Xi's for me."

Francis jumps off.

Hillary faced Donald furiously. "Who are you to make decisions for us? I should have been president. I'm the smartest woman in the whole world in history."

Hillary jumps off.

Donald gazed at the young woman and started talking: "I'm an old man. I have already lived a full life - beautiful wives, children, just a beautiful life. Just beautiful. I've become president of the most powerful country, the most beautiful, the richest. Regrets? I've made a few but did it my way. Greta, go on. Your future is bright. I just wish I can make my country great again and have the chance to help save the world with you. I believe in second chances. Look at my bankruptcies, believe me. And I wish I've played more golf and..."

Greta interjected, "Just shut the f* up. The plane is about to crash. Let's go and save the world. The smartest woman in history took my backpack!"

What do women and airplanes have in common?

A cockpit.

I was just chilling in the World Trade Center and got airplane wifi.

Roses are red, violets are violet.

My grandad died in 9/11. He was a good pilot.

My dad died in 9/11, he was a great pilot.

How to kick a deaf person off the plane:

Step 1: Pretend to yell and get some friends to do it, too.

Step 2: Tell your friends to raise both of their hands.

Step 3: He's out of the plane on a parachute.

My dad died in 9/11.

But he was the pilot.

We shouldn't joke about major tragedies. My dad died in 9/11, he was Saudi Arabia's best pilot.

If at first you don’t succeed... then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

My dad died in 9/11. He was a Muslim pilot.

When you call the Middle Eastern suicide hotline, they ask you if you can fly a plane.