Guy 2 whispering: Oh, I got tired of acting gay.
Guy 1: I heard you. Why are you acting gay?
Guy 2: To attract gays and then give them advice.
Guy 1: So what's your advice to me?
Guy 2: That I just know you're gay.
LOL xD
My mom is a chemistry teacher.
Mom: You can’t be attracted to something without it being attracted to you back.
Me: Tell that to my FUCKING CRUSH, BITCH!
When your crush walks in class but you're homeschooled...
What is the difference in having a granny fetish and necrophilia? A few weeks.
My boyfriend is just like a sexy nerd and I still have to ask him things like that because I'm so distracted from him.
Is it just me, or are magnets really attractive?
Three people having sex is a threesome; two people is a twosome. So next time someone calls you "handsome," don't take it as a compliment.
These two guys were at a bar flirting with these girls. The guy says, "Are you a parking ticket, 'cause you got fine written all over you?"
The girl turns and says, "How about you pay for them, and then I can pay you back with me getting all over you?"
Why did the guy get the hose?
Because the girl was smoking hot.
Me: I must have a mirror in my jeans, 'cause I see you in my pants.
Hey girl, are you a drill sergeant, because you have my privates' attention.
Yo mama's so hot when she walked into Subway she gave me a foot long!
Did you sit in sugar?
Because you've got a sweet ass.
Hey girl, is that an ass seen on TV, 'cause I'd buy it.
Viagra is a lot like amusement parks...
It's a one hour wait, for a two-minute ride.
I like my women how I like my cigarettes: Smokin’ hot, and with a little saliva on the butt.
What turns a girl on more than having sex with her?
When she finds out that you have a vibrator too.
It's not my fault my cousin's hot ;) YEE YEE
Man: "Is your body from McDonald's?"
Woman: "Why, because you're loving it?"
Man: "No, because it's fat and greasy."
I was always told I’m too small to ride, but every girl I’ve been with rated me a 9.5.
