Assassination jokes
A man comes to an assassin who charges $1000 per shot. He tells the assassin, "My wife's been cheating on me. I want you to shoot her in the head and shoot the guy in the dick." When they arrive, they wait. The man asks why he hasn't taken the shot. The assassin says, "I know how I can save you $1000."
My favorite sex position is the “JFK,” I splatter all over her as she screams to get out of the car 😂
JFK and Abraham Lincoln were terrible presidents. It's like their heads were empty.
What's Christian and holey?
JFK.
"Have you driven through Dealey Plaza? It will blow your mind."
~John F. Kennedy
Have you seen the inside of Ford's Theatre? It will blow your mind. ~Abraham Lincoln
Where did JFK go in his car? I am not sure of his intentional destination, but he did go everywhere.
A skeleton decided to become an assassin.
He was always skull-king around!
Who ended Franz Ferdinand's COD account?
He ended with a Black Handed bang.
What do I think about the Kennedy assassination?
First of all, he should have had a roof on that car.
You know what would be the best last thing to say before you die? "No, you certainly can't." JFK's assassin certainly can!
What do JFK’s killer and a prostitute have in common?
“They both blow heads.”
Hey JFK, what would you do if you were in a fight?
JFK: Well, I'd give them a piece of my mind.
Why was JFK stupid? He only had half a brain.
I got a phone call from a guy labeled "assassin" saying my life will end soon. I seriously doubt that he w- *gunshot*
JFK: Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head.
John F. Kennedy: "Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."
Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.
Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.
Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?
Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!
No one.
Absolutely no one.
The History Channel at 11:00 PM: Who really killed JFK?
My mind was blown when I saw all the people waving at me.
-JFK