Assassination jokes

A hired gun gets on a private plane to his next contract. Halfway through the trip, he notices the plane rapidly losing altitude. So he opens that back of the plane and starts tossing out everything he doesn't need: grenades, guns, ammo—unless it was bolted down, it went out. He stopped throwing things out when the plane started to regain altitude.

When the plane lands, he sees some kids giggling on the side of the road. "What's so funny?" he asks.

"Daddy farted and the house blew up," said a singed little boy.

What do you call a bullet head?

JFK.

I was rooting for Donald Trump to be president.

We haven't had a presidential assassination in a while.

What is black and white and red all over?

JFK

A man tried to shoot Adolf Hitler, but missed. Then Adolf replied, "Oh shoot, I did nazi that coming!"

Please don't kill [me].

My favorite sex position is the JFK. I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.

I named my daughter Kennedy so when I talked about how her brain was shot out of her head, people just thought I paid really close attention in history.

JFK did a good job spreading around on his final speech.