Assassination jokes
I went to kill Biden with poison water and mixed it with my finger, and then licked it. I passed out, and now I'm here.
How do you know if you're making a Caesar salad? Stabbing it 23 times.
How much alcohol does JFK prefer to drink?
3 shots.
I decided to take my mother-in-law out the other day. I love being a hitman.
What do you call a murderer with two butts? An assassin.
I, for one, wish Donald Trump was President again. It's been a while since we had a presidential assassination.
I think Abraham Lincoln was gay because a guy shot from behind.
What is white with red all over?...
JFK.
"Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."
- JFK
John F. Kennedy may rest in pieces.
Fun Fact: Did you know JFK's brain was so big it covered a whole entire limousine?
John Lennon: "What a nice view."
John walked outside.
He got shot.
:skull:
What was JFK's favorite school TV show?
BrainPop.
JFK was so popular he was banged in front of his Wife.
Nobody:
JFK: :) Hi guys!
JFK's killer: Ayo look at this shit, I just hit a clip.
One more 360 noscope for my montage.
We don't joke about orphans unless they have family. Then we assassinate the family.
Imagine if Joe Biden was elected for a second term.
He would be the first president to be assassinated by a slick bathtub.
What has two butts and kills people?
An assassin.
Everyone's had a mind-blowing day before, just ask JFK.