Asked jokes

Yo mama so fat, she asked for a water bed, and they gave her the ocean.

I am in trouble. My mum asked me to get six cans of Sprite.

But I got seven Up.

Yo mama so fat, everyday people kept asking: "Are you pregnant?"

My wife asked me to connect more on my feminine side. So I crashed our car and fucked my trainer.

How do you make an orphan cry? Ask to go over to his house if his parents are OK with it.

Yesterday I asked an emo girl if she's jealous when her phone dies.

Today I asked my phone, Siri, why am I still single?

And I activated the front camera! 😭😭😭😭😭

I wonder if any of these people are still alive.

Anyways,

When I arrived at the pearly gates when I died, the guardian asked me how I died. I told him I was just hanging around.

A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."

Yo mama so fat when the doctor saw her weight on the scale he said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"

Me and my friend are walking, we see a kid. My friend asks him why he's crying and if he lost his parents. He said, "Yeah." I slapped my friend because we were at an orphanage.

I saw a little kid crying. I went up to him and asked where his parents were. I got fired from the orphanage.

An Asian student was learning logarithm in class. He wrote down his name after the question. The teacher asked why. He replied, "My class ID is number 1."

I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.

Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.

Why? You ask.

Because it only takes one charge to bring it back to life.

Once I asked Siri to tell me a joke, and it asked me, "What is the difference between a large pizza and you?" One can feed a family.

I told Siri about my dog, and she told me if she could tell me a joke to cheer me up, and I said okay.

She asked me, "Knock knock." I said, "Who is there?" She said, "Not your dog."

A guy and his girl just finished making love.

Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"

The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"

A missionary went to visit an orphanage in Thailand. After looking around, he asked the manager, "Why do these kids have numbers instead of names on their shirts? And why are some of them the same?"

The manager smiled and said, "Those are price tags."

"Freshfry, please leave me and prince alone! I never asked you to join our chat!"