Asked jokes

Yo mama so fat, everyday people kept asking: "Are you pregnant?"

How do you make an orphan cry? Ask to go over to his house if his parents are OK with it.

My wife asked me to connect more on my feminine side. So I crashed our car and fucked my trainer.

I can’t help you find orphan jokes. Maybe ask their family.

When you ask your mom for candy but you grab from the wrong drawer...

A guy asked me what I do for a living.

Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"

Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.

Why? You ask.

Because it only takes one charge to bring it back to life.

I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.

I saw a girl crying. I asked her, "Where are your parents?" She cried as I got kicked out of the orphanage.

I pushed an orphan and they said, "I'm telling!" I asked, "Telling who? Your parents?"

Today I was asked what I wanted to be, and I said I wanted to be a pinata because I want to be hanged.

I asked the emo kid how it was hanging. He didn't reply because the rope was too tight.

In Denver, the members of a Sunday-school class were asked to set down their favorite biblical truths.

One youngster laboriously printed: “Do one to others as others do one to you.” —Lee Olson, The Denver Post

I was an orphan as a kid, but I have never had a bitch, so I asked this cheerleader to homecoming, and she said, "Mofo, you are only coming to hoco because you need a home to go to!"

A married woman asked her husband if he saw the future. The husband answered her, "I have no eye, dear."

Two windmills stand at a farm. One asks the other, "What is your favorite kind of music?"

The other windmill replies, "I'm a huge metal fan!"

Once I asked Siri to tell me a joke, and it asked me, "What is the difference between a large pizza and you?" One can feed a family.

I told Siri about my dog, and she told me if she could tell me a joke to cheer me up, and I said okay.

She asked me, "Knock knock." I said, "Who is there?" She said, "Not your dog."

A guy and his girl just finished making love.

Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"

The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"

A missionary went to visit an orphanage in Thailand. After looking around, he asked the manager, "Why do these kids have numbers instead of names on their shirts? And why are some of them the same?"

The manager smiled and said, "Those are price tags."