Arms jokes

When I'm cutting my grass, want to know what it reminds me of? My arms and legs.

Why did Suzy fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

Knock knock. Who’s there? Not Suzy.

Charizarding.

When you light a girl's pubes on fire, put it out with your jizz, then flap your arms and say, "You don't have enough badges to train me!"

Why couldn't Sally open the fridge?

Because she had no arms.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms!

Why don't wheelchairs have pedals, so when their arms get tired, they can keep going with their feet?

What time is it if you sprain an ankle or an arm?

Time to go to the doctor! 🥼

Son: Mom, what's dark humor?

Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.

Son: Mom, I'm blind.

Mom: Exactly.

Hey, what are those things on your arms? They look like cuts. Wait, what? No, it's just marker. Nothing else...

I asked my now ex-boyfriend why he’s scared of my cat. He said it was because of the scratches on my arm.

I told him that my cat doesn’t scratch, but he didn’t believe me. He realised what I meant when he noticed I kept hiding my wrist from everyone else.

(Kinda based on the fact that my ex is indeed scared of cats, and he has been scared of my cat, so yeah 😂)

What do autistic retards and birds have in common?

They both flap their arms, lol.

Where does Stephen Hawking go when he breaks his arm? PC World.

Why do emos cut their arms? Because they can't cut the rope.

What do you call a person with no arms and legs?

You can call him whatever you want; he's not coming.

What position would a man with no legs and arms play in baseball?

Home base.

Armless guy: Even though I don’t have arms, I can do anything you normal people can do.

Me: 🎵If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands! 🎶

Yo momma's armpits stink so bad she made Right Guard turn to left.

People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"

And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

Knock, knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally.

I was literally cradlesnatched as a child.

Yeah, in the arms of an older woman experiencing my first rounds of motorboating.