Ares jokes

Rape jokes like cancer jokes or AIDS jokes are just humorous wordplay. If you don't agree, send me your details, and we'll see if you prefer actual rape to a harmless rape joke... YOU SAD SACKS OF HUMORLESS SHIT MUNCHERS!

I was walking home when I saw children crossing the street on their own. I went towards him and tapped his shoulder and said, "Hey, little kid, you are not supposed to be walking on your own." The kid turns out to be a dwarf.

What is the similarity between an anti-joke and a clown? Neither are funny.

Enough of the sex jokes! I mean, come on, they are not even funny!

I tell short people to reach for the stars.

They are always a bit short of reach.

Have you ever seen a baby unicorn? No! Because unicorns are gay rainbows in equine form.

A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?"

The little boy says, "That’s my little red race car."

Ten minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?"

The little girl says, "That’s my little red race car garage."

So later that night, the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She said yes, and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won’t fit.

Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?"

The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit, so I cut the back wheels off."

If you're reading this, you are Nickel and Gallium......

Ni- ........*something else in between the two halves*................Ga

YOU FUCKING MONKEYS!

"People are more honest when they are tired, so I made my nephew do push-ups 50 times when I realized he stole my cookies."

Are people too thick to realize the difference between a fruit, a vegetable, and a person?

What does a Jew expecting guests say?

"Oy, vey, are they here yet?"

What did a man say to his boy?

You are my son.

Why are cops worried about drunk drivers and not elderly drivers?

Genders are like the Twin Towers because there used to be two, now it's just a sensitive subject.

When there are more suicidal people, it means there are fewer suicidal people. That means there is an infinite generator of them.

Your wife dumped you because you are so poor and you are so ugly. You also live under a rock and have no money. You got dumped so hard you can't remember you got dumped.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll be the dolphin, you can be the jellyfish.

Why are orphans so naughty at school? It's not like the teacher is gonna call their parents.

It's sad when you sit around waiting for mom to make dinner, and then you realize you are the mom.

As a brother, I have to report my sister has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great personality.