Ares jokes

Why does Mexico not have an Olympic team?

Because all of them that can jump, swim, and run are already here.

Two cunts are better than one, but one cunt is better than none.

What time are most dentist appointments? Tooth hurty.

Roses are red, violets are blue, she is hot, but you're as ugly as poo.

Why does the Democratic party want the Republican party to breed rabbits?

Because Democrats are tired of paying for raisins at the grocery store.

If you're bored, just go hit an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

What does Micheal Jackson and a rock have in common?

They are both hard.

Why can't an orphan get 5 stars in GTA? Because they are not wanted.

We are close to beating the world record of comments on this website (171). Right now, there are 155, so put more comments!

Nearly 40% of the world have been in a relationship; the 60% are worstjokesever.com users.

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

Because they don't know where home is.

If you’re bored, go punch an orphan. What are the parents gonna do?

Why are Americans so good at Rubik's Cubes?

They are skilled at separating colors.

What are women allergic to and always try to dodge?

Accountability.

Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy.

They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."

Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.

He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they're doing.

"Well, we can't pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!"

Satan realizes he's been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it's at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth.

He knows he's won now, so he goes back to the Canadians' room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement.

He shouts at them in fury, "WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!"

They look at him and shout at the same time, "Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!"

Son: Dad, I have black skin and you have white skin, are you sure you're my parents?

Dad: Oh... well I never thought it would come to this, or to your head that you were kidnapped...

Son: Am I kidnapped?

Dad: Well, you're adopted, and if you want to see your biological parents, they’ll be waiting for you in heaven.

Quote of the day: It's never too late to be what you wished you were.

Hope y'all are having a great day! I just got back from a volleyball tournament that I had to be up at 5 AM for! We played three games and won the last one. We advanced and are playing a few more tomorrow. Wish me and my team good luck!

A son walks up to his dad and says, "I'm so gay right now!"

"HOW COULD YOU? I THOUGHT YOU WERE STRAIGHT!!!" screams the dad.

"No, gay as in HAPPY," says the confused son, "I'm so happy right now!"

"Oh," says the dad, "why are you happy?"

Then the son said, "Because I just got 20 dollars for sucking a guy off."

There are Three Sons: Journey, Korean, and Little Joe. They were trapped on a floating island, and a priest gave them each one wish.

The first son wished to go back to the ground. The Second Son wished to go back to the ground. The third son was lonely and wished for his two brothers to come back to the floating island.

This bunny named Mason came up to a bar and ordered a beer and a burger. He sits at a table and the waiter brought a huge burger.

Mason: "Heh. Good thing I eat like a horse." He looks up at the waiter.

Waiter: "You are a nasty little bunny, aren't you?"

Mason screamed and ran away as the waiter chased him... she was a HORSE.