Ares jokes
Bored? Run over an orphan with your car! What are they going to do, tell their nonexistent parents?
If a pirate was a pervert, he would say, “Are you ready, kid?”
"The truest things ARE the funniest things."
-Lollipop from JacknJellify, the BFDI series.
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"If we don't get some support soon, people will start to think we are balls."
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll be the dolphin, you can be the jellyfish.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I've got a bouquet in my pants for you.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll be a jaeger, will you be my kaiju?
Pete the panther was racing a cheetah but lost. The cheetah said, "You can’t beat me, I’m a cheetah." Pete said, "Yeah, you are a cheetah cheetah."
I just found out, these jokes are about dead people.
Mom, where are we going?
To your grandma's funeral.
Yeah, 'cause I 360 no-scoped that b*tch in the face.
What excuse can you use if you find out your date is a rape victim and you don't want the baggage?
Say you've parked your car in a bad spot and are just going to move it, then move your car all the way back to your home address.
What does Micheal Jackson and a rock have in common?
They are both hard.
There are perks to bringing an emo to the grocery store; you can get coupons by scanning their wrist.
Me: Mom, if Adam and Eve are white, then how were slaves made?
Mom: Well, Eve and the monkey fucked each other.
Me: Oh, okay.
Goes to school.
Teacher: How were humans made?
Me: Eve fucked the monkeys.
Teacher: 😑
What is George Floyd's pickup line?
You are breathtaking.
Why are you rolling your eyes? Are you looking for your brain?
Roses are red, violets are blue, there are kids in my basement, you'll be there soon.
So things are just too tiring to sort out... like which adoption center you should send your son to?
I was walking down the street when I saw my ex-girlfriend, so I fucked her. Turns out it was her identical twins that she never told me about.
And I decided to confront her. So I did the next time I saw her, but this time it was her identical triplet. There are 3 of them...
AND SHE NEVER BROUGHT THAT UP IN THE 7 YEARS I WAS DATING HER!
Roses are red, violets are blue.
Is that what you think? You have no clue, you fool!