Ares jokes
Mexican jokes and black jokes are pretty much the same.
Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal.
Why are emo jokes so infamous?
They cut deep.
Why did the Titanic sink?
Because the people aboard are stupid.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Jets versus towers, USA lost two.
How can Canada be one of the most educated countries when Canadians are unable to correctly spell "analyse", "programme", and "aluminium"?
When God made Chinese, he said, "DON'T LOOK!" and the Chinese said, "Why?"
And God replied, "You won't want to be fruitful and multiply if you saw where you are putting that thing."
It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.
When God made White Man, he said, "NEVER SHUT YOUR EYES!" and the white man said, "Why?"
And God replied, "You need to keep an eye out for the Chinese, one day they will out number you."
It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.
Then the white man said, "There is a white genocide!"
And the survivors of the Holocaust said, "All these Europeans killed each other, so a white genocide is accurate. White killed white."
Then the Chinese said, "Thank you, we take your land now."
And the Jews said, "But we are God's chosen people!"
And the Chinese said, "Yes, every time God show up you get bullied! You might want to worship someone else!"
And the Jews said, "Why are you Chinese so lucky, you can't even see, you blind!"
And the Chinese said, "Jesus say be in the world not of the world, so don't go looky looky at the world then."
It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.
Why are dogs different than orphans?
Because dogs don't cry for their parents.
When you play Flappy Bird in 9/11, the bird is a plane and the obstacle courses are towers.
Why are orphans good at being a criminal?
Because they're not wanted.
Mom: That's why your dad left you.
Me: Why?
Mom: I mean look at you, depressed, suicidal, and unhappy, always anxious, and other mental health issues.
Me: How is that my fault? You are a rude mom!
Mom: Your dad had a heart attack two weeks before you were born, because you are ugly!
(This actually did happen in real life.)
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone."
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
I once saw a kid walking down the street crying. So I asked them, "Hey kid, where are your parents?" And he started to cry even more...
"Huh. I wonder why he was so sad..." I said as I walked into the orphanage.
The only letters in the alphabet that you know are "KFC."
Why are Americans so bad at Clash? They already lost two towers.
Roses are red, Violets are fine, You can be the six, And I can be the nine.
Why are chickens so funny? Because...
The Kardashians are just hyper realistic Barbies.
Hey girl, are you a scientist?
Cause you made my thing into a baking soda volcano.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I was born pretty, what happened to you?
Bored? Run over an orphan with your car! What are they going to do, tell their nonexistent parents?