Ares jokes
Women are like dogs...
"Where are you going? Where are you going? Where are you going?"
"Can I come? Can I come? Can I come?"
"I'll wait right here... I'll wait right here... I'll wait right here..."
SHOES
When you’re hunting at a forest resort and you shoot a deer, but then you remember that there are no deer at the forest resort.
You are about to hear the funniest joke ever.
My life.
Are you Google?
Because you got all I am searching for.
Stop complaining. Pedophile jokes are pretty funny, but to say there are over 100 of them only to have repeats of the same joke told by different people is very disappointing.
A Mexican boy said, "I can't do this." Then a guy says, "You can do it, we are Mexican, not Mexicant."
Spock went to the Enterprise's toilet and he knocked on it. "Kirk, are you in there?" Spock asked.
Kirk answered, "Hold on, I am making a captain's log."
When I'm bored, I like to slap orphans. I mean, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What happens when two walls meet?
They are cornered.
The teacher asked, "Why are you in school on a Saturday?"
I told her my mum told me to go to hell.
What did the ankle say to the doorman?
You are a nonsense.
How do you tell the difference between a Communist and everybody else? The way they are spelled.
Why are most West Virginians going to hell?
Their favorite pastimes (inbreeding and bestiality) are an abomination unto the Lord.
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going to the airport, which one gets there first? The lesbian, duh, they get there "lickety-split."
China has a population of a billion people. One billion.
That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.
In Antarctica, there are ice dicks for ladies to hop onto.
Little do they know I've been waiting for this moment.
In Saudi Arabia, our pick up lines are, "Girl, are you a terrorist? Cuz you da bomb."
Why are mountains always tired? Because they don't Everest.
When you're fucking your boss's daughter, then you realize that you are self-employed.
C'mon guys, 9/11 jokes are just plane wrong.