Ares jokes
Daughter: Dad, why are you so mean?
Dad: Because you are so mean, that's why.
Daughter: You so get on my nerves.
Dad: I am gonna slap you in your god darn head if you don't shut up.
Daughter: Wow, Dad, you savage.
Dad: 21 SAVAGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Daughter: Oh my God, I am tellin' Mom that you are doin' that thing again.
What did one cow say to the other? You are mootiful!
Want to know why parents don't get school shooting jokes?
Because they are aimed at a younger audience.
My cat is red and brown and her bones are crunchy, so does that mean she is a Kit Kat?
Roses are not always red, Violets are violet, not blue. Irises are never red, Petunias can be kinda blue.
What does this tell us 'cept you can't trust a poet to tell the truth.
Fat girls give the best head because they are hungry and eat the most dick.
Fat people are thirsty, so I piss in their mouth.
I hope ya'll that have depression kys; you are worthless trash.
Just kidding.
Children are so ungrateful nowadays. I got my daughter a bike, but now she’s crying on the floor saying, “I don’t have legs!”
What did the squirrel say to the dog?
"There are nuts in your poop. I found them!"
Love is in the air...
Wrong! Nitrogen, Oxygen, and Carbon Dioxide are in the air!
8 bit: Are you ok?
7 bit: Yes, I’m just a bit off...
Get it? 8 bits = a byte :)
Why are orphanages like dogs?
Because they get adopted.
Sadly, blind jokes are cruel. A kid at my school was punched the other day for being blind.
Sadly, he didn't see it coming.
One time a man climbed a mountain and saw a guy.
"Who are you?"
"I am mountain man!"
Why are frogs good at basketball?
Because they always make jump shots.
Kid: I want to be Batman.
Okay, when he gets home, his parents are dead.
If you're ever bored, hit an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Brother: Your eyebrows look hella bad.
Sister: I don’t even think you know what eyebrows are supposed to look like because you have none.
When are you from Alabama? You know!!! 🐩