Ares jokes
Roses are red, violets are blue, My heart is dead, I’m such a fool.
My friends: Ugh, why are you so lazy and no fun?
My parents: Why can't you be like your siblings?
My teacher: I don't care if you're depressed, focus on your study!
The songs: We understand you :)
It's funny that everyone is depressed, like, I mean:
Bullys are depressed.
Nerds are depressed.
Bad girls/boys are depressed.
Kind humans are depressed.
Well, a boy and a girl are in a bathtub together.
The little boy says, “Hey, you see that? I’m gonna go ask Daddy what it is.” When the little boy asks his dad, he says, “Well, son, that’s your car. You try to park it in a girl’s parking spot.”
As the boy runs back, he see’s the little girl is missing. It had turned out that the little girl was asking her mama what her spot was and she said, “Well, that’s your parking spot. Never ever let a boy put it in.” When she got back, the little boy tried to put the car in, well he did and she ended up breaking his car that day.
My mom said to take out the trash bags, so I did. And the next day, my mom asked, "Where are your sisters?" I said, "In line to get crushed."
Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar? They don't have Father's or Mother's Day.
Three copycats on a boat, one jumps off. How many are left? Zero, because they're copycats!
Why are so many people mean to orphans?
They can’t cry to their parents.
When you're Russian to the bathroom, and when you're finished you're from Finland, what are you when you are IN the bathroom?
European.
Are you a toaster? 'Cause I wanna take a bath with you.
Are you a knife? 'Cause you make me wanna KMS.
Are you a painting? 'Cause I hang you.
Are you the flu? 'Cause you make me wanna hurl.
Are you a newspaper? 'Cause you have new problems every day.
Are you the ground? 'Cause I'm six feet deep in you ;)
Living in Houston, Texas, and realizing that hurricanes are an annual threat, my ex-wife called me and asked what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer? Take the 610 loop, dear!
The moment you realize that school Kahoot! games are more competitive than the Super Bowl.
There are more genders than there are cars in a Walmart parking lot.
One day a computer said to another computer, "Why are you so dumb?"
The other computer replied, "Because I have low memory."
Roses are red, the grass is greener,
Every time I think of you, I play with my weenie.
If you ever get mad, just hit an orphan.
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Friend: "You are so ugly." Me: "You can't be talking, you give Freddy Krueger nightmares."
Koalas are awesome!
Koalas are weird. Why? I don't know!
Why'd the chicken cross the road?
That doesn't matter, we need to get the best joker to go back to posting here, he was funny but now people say they are him and ruin his good name, he was the top of the charts for over a year, so screw all these chumps! Bring back THE REAL SPECIAL!!!
Also, the chicken dies in the end, ha ha, funny, whatever.