Ares jokes
Why are there no Walmarts in Palestine?
There are Targets everywhere.
What do LGBTQ folk and folk with scoliosis have in common?
None of them are straight.
Animals are just... so hot!
Israel and Palestine jokes are hard at these times.
It’s all about execution.
If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.
If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long you wait to smash. For me and my girlfriend, it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling.
Me: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, how did you know and what gave me away?
Me: Where's your parents?
Orphan: They died and I have a phone, why?
Me: Because it has a home button.
Why are Black women dating white men?
So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father.
There are 206 bones in the human body.
207 when I'm at a nursery.
Roses are red, violets are blue, My name is Bucky, And I am stucky.
Roses are red, violets are blue, and if you're my friend, I'll be there till the end.
I don’t understand why Christians are so against body piercings. Didn’t Jesus have four?
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.
Which days are the strongest?
Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
Your hairline is so far back that if you were a backbencher in class and I was a germ sitting on it, I would think that the rest of the backbenchers are seated in front of the class.
What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?
"Where are the kids?"
Roses are red, flowers are pretty, I heard your mom has a nice pair of titties.
What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?
They are both legless.
Are you a keyboard, because I wanna tap you all night long.