Ares jokes

You: Its nighttime, shouldn't we be heading to bed?

Boy Roommate: Ok, are you Top or Bottom?

You: Uhhhhhhh

Boy Roommate: No dumby, bunk beds.

You: Thank God.

Boy Roommate: But if you wanna, we can...

You: *faints*

Son: Dad, what are those two huge balloons on mommy's chest?

Dad: I don't see balloons, but I see boobs. I mean, yes, balloons.

Son: Are you sure they're balloons? Yesterday I heard Uncle Frank trying to get a milk dispenser working.

Ice cream truck drivers are the most sus people on earth. They’re adults who play children’s music and give ice cream to kids who approach their van.

I went to go mine for some gold, but then I saw some shorts.

Friend: "Your jokes are too short."

Me: "Zip it, my jokes are always golden."

Friend: "You're such an ingot, don't forget your jokes are always Aurum."

Me: "I know my jokes are Aurum; it's always because I always glitz."

Friend: "At least I have luminescent" (Get it? Lu mines cent)

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm stuck on the Eston Front, And so are f***ing you.

Gwen-Kind-Positive-Lends a Helping Hand- Stops Bullies- Does Most Helpful Work.

Addison Banks- Positive Voicing-Stops Hurtful Words.

ALYA-Powerful in Thought- Helps- But Sadly Is Gone.

Prince-Always Backed Up Gwen- But Sadly Is Gone Too.

Watersharky-Helps When Needed-Backs Up Anyone- Curses When Needed- Helps People Through Depression.

These Are The Legends, There Are More Out There You Could Be One Too Just Lend a Helping Hand.

19 comments from. Ok-Community-6032 Cute. ❤️

Clamgodamron: Are you a kid?

Big-Reflection-104. Beautiful 😊

Rich-impact-5709. Your a doll.😈

Cutie-pie-9020 Hot!!! :P

Have you ever heard of Katie? Please come to KatieJennieJackson on Reddit. Her username is ok-community-2373.

My username is Big-reflection-104. C0mments from so other redditors are from her post:

Hello :). On sexy tummies. Where she is wearing a black croptop.

Are in the next post.

Moto is: Katie Jennie Jackson is so horny! Reddit username-Ok-community-2373. Follow her please. Her photos are made for you to cum for her, not at her. Thank you if you chose to think.

Here's a Song That Describes My Old Life-By-watersharky Productions-

My buddies think I'm on the lake.

Boss thinks I've been sick for days.

And mama's probably on her way

'Cause I ain't picked up the phone.

I've been a million places,

But they're all up in my head.

Over-drinking, overthinking ever since you left.

I've been gone, I've been gone

I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long.

All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong

Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane

Sadder than a country song.

Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way

Ever since you moved on, I've been gone.

Took a trip down memory lane.

Checked into hotel heartbreak.

Passed rock bottom on the way

Without leaving my living room.

I've been a million places

But they're all up in my head.

Over-drinking, overthinking ever since you left.

I've been gone, I've been gone

I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long.

All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong

Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane

Sadder than a country song.

Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way

Ever since you moved on, I've been gone.

Yeah

I've been gone.

All the clothes are on the floor

All the mail's by the door

All the whiskey bottles in my bed.

All the dishes in the sink

All the gas is in the tank

All the neighbors probably think I'm dead.

I've been gone, I've been gone

I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long.

All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong

Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane

Sadder than a country song.

Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way

Ever since you moved on, I've been gone (ooh, ooh)

I've been gone (ooh, ooh)

Gone

I saw my girlfriend walking by. I told her, "Wow, you look so beautiful!" and then we started to talk. Then someone came behind me. She said, "What are you doing?" I said, "I'm flirting," and I remember I was talking to my mom, and my girlfriend was HER MOM, which is my sister, but my girlfriend/sister IS MY WIFE, but my mom is my wife too. Looks like I'm getting a divorced but which one, my girlfriend [or] my mom?

Are you suicide? Cause I'm tryna commit to you.

Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together.

In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast.

As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet.

She replies, "No".

Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?"

His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school."

Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"

She replies, "No."

Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?"

His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school."

After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"

His mom says "No."

He asks, "Do you know what I think?"

His Mom replies, "Ok, do tell me what you think?"

He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue."

Iceberg: You may know me.

Titanic: You are a sucker.

Iceberg: You hit me.

Titanic: Moron.

Iceberg: Waaaaaaaaaa!

Titanic: I don’t give a shit.

A young boy walked up to his dad and asked, "Daddy, why are you banned from coming to elementary school?"

The dad calmly replies, "Because that's how I met your mother."

Like if you're gay.

Dislike if you are lez.

Why do orphans love McDonald's?

Because the initials are like "mother" and "father."

I saw an orphan crying the other day, so I asked, "Where are your parents?"

God, I love working at an orphanage :)

Why are Egyptian gods orphans?

Because Egypt needs to sell Anubis (a new bus) every year to make a prophet.

How to get 60 Translink workers? Please head out of the pool because ya'll are fat. Oh wait, didn't you poop yourself? Say sorry to your underwear while pooping as a fat Canadian Translink worker, little boy.

Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face, and he asks her, "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face, mother?"

His mother replies, "To make myself beautiful, Johnny."

A few minutes later, she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. Johnny says to her, "What is the matter? Are you giving up?"