Ares jokes

A Russian, a Cuban, and an Englishman are on a ship. The Russian takes a swig of vodka and throws the bottle overboard. The Cuban and Englishman with astonishment say to the Russian, "What did you do that for?"

The Russian says, "In Russia, we got an unlimited supply of vodka."

A little while later, the Cuban lights up a cigar, takes a puff, and throws it overboard. The Cuban says, "We got an unlimited supply of Cuban Cigars in Cuba."

Then the Englishman grabs a Paki and throws him overboard...

Why is the Z the only politically correct letter?

Because all the other letters are not Z's.

A little known rule: You cannot be circumcised if you are running for political office in the US.

You need to be a complete dick.

Some people think jokes about child abuse are funny.

I'm not sure if I think that, but they do seem to hit different.

Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster?

So we can think about a solution in silence.

What is a victimless crime in the state of Michigan if you are an able-bodied man who is well-endowed, not white, and not a heterosexual male?

A white male who is heterosexual and physically disabled who is sodomized by an able-bodied and well-endowed gay male who is not white inside the men's locker room at the gym.

So I was at a restaurant and I really hit it off with the waitress, so one thing led to another and I'm at her place and she was really nice at the IHOP but when I was there with her she was all like "ahhh! what are you doing!?!?!? how did you get in my house?!?!?" and then she punched me and I'm the one who ended up in prison.

If a CEO goes blind, are they just an EO?

Fat kids are so fat, they have their own gravitational pull.

There are a lot of upsides to being an orphan.

For one, you never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.

"People are more honest when they are tired, so I made my nephew do push-ups 50 times when I realized he stole my cookies."

Yo, you have the biggest Oliver brain, which means you are the dumbest boy ever.

Are you a blood bender? 'Cause you're making my blood go south🖤.

If Canada had to apologise for Bryan Adams on several occasions, it's only fair that Americans are tortured and waterboarded for bringing Katy Perry and Carrie Underwood to the world!

Donald Trump and Fanta both have some things in common.

They are both orange and were conceived from Nazis!

I arrived at work and saw a kid crying. I walked up to the kid and asked, "Hey, where are your parents?" and the kid just cried more. God, I love working at an orphanage.

Why do Asians have squinty eyes?

Because atomic bombs are pretty damn bright.

Girl, are you a rope? Because I want to hang with you.

Your teeth are so out of line, even James Charles is straighter than them.

Like if you like porn.

While an unsuspecting father's at the office making money, this 18 year old son will spend his day in mother's cunny.

We're at the breakfast table, father eats and takes his calls, he doesn't know my mother's toes are kneading at my balls.