Ares jokes

Victim

  • Who are the quickest readers in the world? 9/11 victims. They went through 34 stories in 4 seconds.

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    Cow

  • Two cows are grazing in a field.

    One cow says to the other, "You ever worry about that mad cow disease?"

    The other cow says, "Why would I care? I'm a helicopter!"

    Pregnancy

  • What are the similarities between a 14-year-old pregnant girl and her unborn fetus?

    They are both thinking, "Oh sh*t, my mom's gonna kill me."

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    Orphan

  • Today I saw a little boy wearing rags sitting on a curb. I said, "Awww, are you an orphan?" He said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."

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    Moon

  • Phobos and Deimos are just asteroids in moon costumes, and Mars was blind due to its frequent sandstorms, so it let Phobos and Deimos be its moons.

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    Bible

  • Why are people mad at me? All I did was tell the truth and put the Bible in the fiction section of the library.

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  • People

  • Hello people. I've seen your jokes are as immature as hell. Keep going with those jokes, people. We might earn the funniest jokes on this website.

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    Kid

  • I see a kid crying in the park, right? So I go up to him and say, "Hey, where are your parents?" and he says, "Well, my dad left to get the milk and never came back, and my mother died in a plane crash in the Bermuda Triangle."

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  • Orphan

  • What is an orphan's favorite movie? Hint, not Home Alone. It's actually Batman, 'cause they are 50% the same as him.

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