Ares jokes

What are three things the Twin Towers have in common with my dad? They are big, sexy, and smashed your mom.

What are the similarities between apples and emos?

They both hang from trees.

Roses are red, violets are violet,

My dad died in 9/11, he was a great pilot!

Why are orphans gay? To call someone "daddy."

Okay, boys are known to measure their dicks, but do girls measure their depths?

Here’s one for the Aussies: What’s the difference between an echidna and a police car? All the pricks are on the inside.

I'm not a robot, but orphans are.

Let's go punch some orphans, who are they gonna tell, their parents? 🤣🤣🤣

I asked, "Where are your parents?" and oh god, I love working at an orphanage.

Bad jokes are like the planes in 9/11, they don't land.

If your dad didn't bring the milk, what are you dipping your cookies in?

My brother: What are you looking at?

Me: A mistake.

You are like Papa.

Friends don't lie.

My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?

My son came up to me and said, "Mom, where are your parents?"

I stared in confusion. I said, "In a far place."

He asked, "In an orphanage?"

A man was on the street and went up to a kid wearing rags. The man asked, "Hey, are you an orphan?"

The kid said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"

The man said, "Your parents."

Why are Americans bad at chess? Because they lost the towers.

Luigi and Daisy are actually Aussie! How?

They wear GREEN and GOLD! The Aussie Colors!

Your balls are so big, when people see you at the market, they think it's watermelon.

One day, I'm going to Malta to a big hotel. In the morning, I go down to eat breakfast. I tell the waitress I want two pieces of toast. She brings me only one piece. I tell her I want a piece. She says, "Go to the toilet." I say, "You don't understand. I want a piece on my plate." She says, "You better not piss on your plate, you son of a bitch." I don't even know the lady, and she calls me a son of a bitch.

I don't need this shit!!

Later, I go to eat at the big restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and a knife, but no fork. I tell her I wanted a fork. She tells me everyone wanna fuck. I say, "You don't understand, I want a fork on my table." She says, "You better not fuck on the table, you son of a bitch." I don't even know the lady, and she calls me a son of a bitch.

I don't need this shit!

So, I go back to my room in a hotel, and there are no sheets on the bed. I call the manager and tell him I want a sheet. He tells me, go to the toilet. I say, "You don't understand, I want a sheet on my bed." He says, "You better not shit on my bed, you son of a bitch."

I go to the checkout, and the man at the desk says, 'Peace on you.' I say, 'Piss on you too, you son of a bitch. I'm going back to Italia. Arrivederci!'

I don't need this shit!

Moral of the story, don't go to Australia with a Korean accent.