Ares jokes

I don’t see what the problem is.

The Supreme Court came up with a solution to the tampon shortage, yet all the liberals are pissed!

What did Michael Jackson say when Anne got hurt?

"♫ ANNIE, ARE YOU OKAY? ARE YOU OKAY, ANNIE? ANNIE ARE YOU OKAY. BUT JUST TELL US, THAT YOU'RE OKAY. ♫"

"Daddy, what are those two things on mum’s chest?" asked Tom. "Those are just... balloons," said dad.

(Later)

"Dad! I think mum’s dying!" said Tom. "Why?" asked dad. "Because uncles are blowing her balloons, and she said, ‘Oh god, I'm cumming!’"

There are 10 million million million million million million million million particles in da universe that we can observe.

Yo mama took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd.

What do you do when you are angry with an orphan? Hit them.

It's not like they can tell their parents.

You're so fat that when you go on a walk with your friends, it looks like they are orbiting you.

Hi guys, jokes for sister.

So I was listening to a song about "I hate you, are annoying, sister. I'm small and I'm smart," and when I showed it to her, she killed me, and later I was dancing and crying.

POV: Wine Taster in hell.

I was sitting with the best wine ever made on the table in front of me. This silhouette begins to speak, "You have risen to be the most superb Wine Taster on Earth. Then you got run over by a truck hauling freshly made wine to a warehouse. Your crimes are as follows: you left your high school prom date with another man after you got her pregnant, you let your mother believe that the cat ran away after you drowned it in the pool, and you never got married. How do you plead?"

The man looked at the silhouette like it was a purple rabbit.

"Guilty," said the man, "but if you would be so kind would you at least tell me what the wine in front of me tastes and smells like? I will take any punishment you deem fit."

"Very well," said the silhouette, "but you will regret that request."

Out of the shadows comes a boy only looking 19 years old. The boy says, "I will you taster today. I am confident about my sense of taste." The boy takes the first bottle and opens it, pours it into a wine glass, and swirls it around. He then takes a sniff and begins to drink, to the Wine Taster he says, "Mmmm, taste like chicken."

What's the scariest thing about white people in prison?

How rare they are.

I always wonder what girls are thinking about. Maybe balls.

I think Paul Walker and 9/11 jokes are great, but when I tell them to others, they tend to crash and burn.

Friend: You are joking.

Me: Joking on deez nuts.

If you are a bully at a school, when you get home, find an orphan and beat them up!

What are they going to do? Tell the orphan lady to tell you to stop? 😆😝

What is the difference between an orphan and a criminal?

Criminals are wanted.

If you're mad, go punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their mom?

Why are bears' hair so sticky?

Because they use honeycombs.

Why are bees' hair sticky?

Because they use honeycombs!

Why are Americans so bad at chess?

Because they have already lost 2 towers!

Who are the fastest readers?

911, they went through 110 stories in 8 seconds.

If you're ever angry, go ahead and punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?