Ares jokes
Are you a gun because I want to live with you?
I specialize in jokes about orphans. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
I try and try every day, but 5 keep coming out. There's so money at this point my walls are built of babies.
I'm shidding. Still babies are still coming and going.
How many beans are there in Irish chili?
Answer: 239
Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine?
Answer: (spoken in Irish Brogues) Because if you add one more, it'd be "two farty."
Has anybody else noticed that out of nowhere there are always tons of people online? It's kinda trippy if I'm being honest.
A Russian, a Brit, and a terrorist are in an air balloon.
First, the Russian says, "I dare to throw a stone down!" So he does that, but the others don't seem to be impressed. So the Brit says, "I dare to throw a brick down!" So again he does that, the Russian is impressed, but the terrorist laughs and says, "I dare to throw a bomb down!" So he does that and everybody can't believe what they have just seen. So a bit further, they land, and a shocked and afraid little boy comes running up to them. So they ask what happened, on which the little boy said, "I farted and my school exploded."
Two cyclists stop on a bridge. One cyclist says to the other, "Can you see that forest over there?"
The other says, "No, the trees are in the way."
My favorite animal is a cheetah, so I hope the jokes are good.
If you're ever bored, just punch an orphan.
What are they gonna tell their parents?
Why are Orphans so bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
The Twin Towers are like Angry Birds in real life.
Kid says to genie,
"I want to be like Batman!"
Kid goes home, both of them are dead.
"Thank God there are no of these ahahha ya thank God to pranks."
"Oh I forgot a dance 🕺 😅 joke is good ok for kids."
They are delicious.
Orphans are like vegans, no one ever remembers the nice ones.
If a kid doesn't take their nap, doesn't that mean they are resisting arrest?
He was saying jokes, and someone said, "You are on a roll!"
Why can't you do a Math test in the zoo?
Because there are too many Cheetahs!
There were 5 people on an airplane.
1. The pilot 2. The businessman 3. The Minister 4. The school child 5. The Smartest person in the world
The plane takes off, a good, solid 1 hour in. The pilot comes out and says, "OK guys, I have good news and bad news."
"Bad News is the plane is gonna crash. The good news is that I have 4 parachutes."
The pilot says to his passengers, "Well I'm a pilot, I fly planes. People depend on me!" Took a parachute and went out.
The businessman stands up and says, "Well I'm a businessman, I run companies!" Took a parachute and went out.
The smartest person in the world stands up and says, "I'm the smartest person in the world. No one is smarter than me!" Took a parachute and went out.
Now the minister says to the school child, "Well God has given me a good life. I want you to take the last parachute," and the school child has a massive smile on her face and starts laughing all of the sudden and the minister says, "Why are you smiling?! We're about to die!!!!"
And the school child says to the minister, "Well actually [we're] not gonna die because there are still 2 parachutes left because the smartest person in the world just took my school bag!"