Ares jokes
Why are cigarettes good for the environment?
They kill people.
Are you a professor? I have a theory about sex that I need to test on someone.
What did the North Tower say to the South Tower in summer?
"Are you ready for fall?"
What's the difference between a Black person and a White person? Nothing, are you racist?
If you're American when you go in the bathroom and you're American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?
European.
Are you a ghost train? Because I am going to scream when I ride you.
Are you winter? Because you will be coming soon.
POV: You are 7 years old and you find a stick. SWORD.
Teacher: Hi class, today we will learn about the song, "London Bridge is falling down, falling down."
Then one student said, "I thought it was 'Twin Towers are falling down, falling down!'"
What type of people think rape jokes are funny?
Only the coolest people in the world! I fucking love you guys 😂
Abortion clinics are kind of like NAZI gas chambers. Less people come out than go in.
Are you Jeffrey Dahmer? Because I'd love you to eat me.
Why can't depressed people make depression jokes? Because they can't talk if they are dead.
What does Johnny Depp do when his kids are not home?
Cocaine.
A man is talking to his doctor after undergoing a whole range of tests to try and find out what’s wrong with him.
The doctor sits him down and says, “I’m so sorry to have to tell you this, but the results are back, and I’m afraid it’s fatal.”
“Oh no!” exclaims the man, “How long do I have?”
“Ten,” says the doctor.
“What, years? Months?!”
“Nine...”
I have MP3s on my computer that are older than Johnny Depp's new significant other.
Q: Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
A: Because they lost two of their towers.
What do gay guys and priests have in common?
They are both gay in their own ways.
Orphans are the best people to bully. They have no parents.
Me: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
Me: Your parents.