Ares jokes
Friend: How's it going?
Me: Good, things are good!
Parent: How are you?
Me: Oh, I'm fine!
Twitter: Compose new tweet?
Me: Hellooooo, I would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it.
A: Why are you so sad?
B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.
A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?
B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie!
This is the song we all misunderstood: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2S0QhGGO1gQ
"He said, "One day, you'll leave this world behind, so live a life you will remember." My father told me when I was just a child, "These are the nights that never die." My father told me."
Whenever I think about it deeply, it makes me wanna cry :(
McDonald's and the Twin Towers are alike. McDonald's has a drive-through, and the Twin Towers had a fly-through.
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why are orphans so bad at learning about ancient Egypt? They don't know what mummies are.
Why don't orphans learn about ancient Egypt? They don't know what mummies are.
You: You are such a flick pain.
Me: You are flick pain to my sight.
This is not a joke. Have you ever thought about it? You’re an emo while wearing black. So what if you are black? Does that mean you’re an emo because you are black and emos wear black? ;)
Why are there 30 bullets in one clip?
Because that's the average classroom size.
Are your parents bakers? Because you're a cutie pie.
Are you a loan? Because you've got my interest.
Is your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout!
If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.
Are you an artist? Because you’re really good at drawing me in.
I believe in following my dreams. Can I have your Instagram?
If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple.
If you were a flower, you'd be a daaaaaamn-delion!
I saw an orphan on the street. I said, "Where are your parents?" He cried and said, "My mum and dad died in a car crash!" 😆😆😂😂🤣
Sonic says: "If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"
Hey, are you a terrorist? 'Cause I rate you 9/11.
What are the subtitles when a disabled person speaks in a movie?
nsjajahdahwggwdgdvtwqfdvgcqgvhheydgdygsydgdfydwfwdgsqgsgyd
Some jokes are best left not harassed by those who are offended by them.
For I have everyone's IP address.
I was the person that flew into the Twin Towers. I have two friends that are both twins, and whenever they speak, I tell them to shut up because if they don't, I'll make myself explode in them.
I'm sorry my jokes are so bad.
Say this to your significant other (or your weird friends!)
Are you an unsafe staircase? 'Cause you look like you could use a railing.
Why does Michael Jackson like twenty-eight year olds?
'Cause there are twenty of them.