Ares jokes
POV: You are a passenger on September 11th, 2001, and you see the pilots wearing a Muslim turban.
You are so ugly, when you were born, your mother asked for a receipt.
You are so fat that the last time you stepped on the weighing scale, the doctor said, "I want your weight and not [your] phone number."
Relationships are like fat people.
Most of them don’t work out.
There's a one-story house. Everything's yellow, even the kitchen, living room, and bedrooms. What color are the stairs?
You are so ugly, when the devil saw you, he said, "Jesus Christ!"
You are so ugly, when the Joker saw you, he stopped laughing.
You are so ugly when your mum dropped you off at school, she got fined for littering.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Your mum's so fat, she broke Britain too!
Twin Towers are like my parents: 2 left and 1 came back.
Roses are red, lemons are sour, spread your legs, give me an hour!
Roses are red, my cum is blue, I'll wait till you're asleep to rape you.
Bad Hitler puns are infuhrerating.
"Hitler and Goring are standing atop the Berlin radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to put a smile on Berliners' faces.
So Goring says: 'Why don't you jump?'"
What chips are you not allowed to give to orphans?
Family size.
What do you call a Japanese person when their knees are cured?
"Happynese" (happy knees).
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your grandma died, your dad left you too, Now you're living with your old grandma coot. Oh, let's not forget your mom left you, too. You gon' live alone, die alone, with no roses on your casket, too.
How do you get away with rape and incest in California?
Say you identify as a woman. Fact: It's actually legal to rape your daughter if you are a woman in California.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knife." "Knife, who?" "How are you still alive? I just stabbed you!"
I got banana nut bread for you.
Oh no, the nuts are missing!
Oh, I found them!
You know where they are?
UP YOUR BUTTHOLE!