Ares jokes
I started debating whether or not suicide is a good option. Self-harm just hasn’t been cutting it lately.
To whoever you are, you are loved.
How are feminists different from gorillas? At least gorillas don't abort their own children.
There are two muffins baking in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?"
The other muffin says, "AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!"
John and Chloe are in school arguing about who has the more heroic grandfather.
Chloe says, "My grandfather killed 50 Nazis, he's so heroic!"
John says, "So what? My grandfather KILLED Hitler!"
This song is sus, because I’m happy. Clap along if you feel like happiness is the root. What are you clapping?
I don't understand why people hate it when they hear a dad joke. They are actually pretty funny, and I will show you Y. (shows a picture of the letter Y)
If you are homeless, get a home.
If you are poor, get money.
Are you the Twin Towers? Because you made my heart explode.
I asked my friend how long I can be in the sky. He said if you are emo, then forever.
Your teeth are so yellow they slow down traffic.
I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.
The average person in 2023 is less straight than the lines my 5th-grade P.E. teacher walked in college.
If you can’t touch your brain or see your brain, you don’t have a brain?
Teacher: Stand up if you think you are stupid.
After a while, a student stands up.
Teacher: So you think you are stupid?
Student: No, I'm not stupid. I just felt bad because you were standing by yourself.
Quote of the day: It's never too late to be what you wished you were.
Hope y'all are having a great day! I just got back from a volleyball tournament that I had to be up at 5 AM for! We played three games and won the last one. We advanced and are playing a few more tomorrow. Wish me and my team good luck!
Why are Americans so good at solving Rubik’s cubes?
Because they have a history of separating colors.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
I’m sorry you look like my old beat up shoe.
You're so poor, when you kicked a can, a man asked, "Are you moving?"
Your arms are open. They stretch towards me, Reaching, grabbing, pulling me, Surrounding me, Drowning me in my helplessness. Time standing still, inside here. Looking through windows, time passing by. Let me go, will ya?