Appearance jokes

Why do orphans look so ugly?

Because they have a face not even a mother could love.

You're so ugly, Hello Kitty said goodbye.

Your mama is so ugly that when she walked in the bank, they had to turn off the cameras.

Seeing so many balding college students is so sad. Like, why the fuck is your hairline graduating before you?!?

Your hairline's so messed up that even Martin Luther King Jr. couldn't have a dream about it.

Your hairline is so far back that your dad still can't find his way back home.

Your hairline shape is so badly shaped like a M, me and my friends thought it was McDonald's.

I was gonna roast you about your chin, but I didn't know which one to talk about.

Your momma is so ugly, the director thought she was a real zombie.

Hey, Mom, I am ugly.

"Facts," my mom says.

Did you hear about the guy that dipped his balls in glitter?

Pretty nuts, huh?

Yo, hairline goes farther back than the Big Bang theory!

Your hairline got suspended, it's not coming back.

My friend had an allergic reaction after he ate a peanut.

We got his EpiPen to help him when Penaldo appeared because he heard the word "PEN". He tried stealing the pen, but I said, "No pens for you," and "Brentford". He cried and ran away. Shame on you, Penaldo the fraud!

So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.

Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.

Comment if I'm ugly.

Your hairline looks like the McDonald's logo.

When you look exactly like your dead cousin and everybody thinks she faked her death.

FUCKING MENT

Your forehead is so big, you got an eight-head.

Your hairline is so far back that my father couldn't even reach the store in time before it grew!