Appearance Jokes

The man walks into a bar, reaches into his pocket, and pulls out a tiny piano and a tiny piano player. The piano player starts playing the piano. The guy next to him asks where he got that. The man says there is a genie out on the corner granting wishes.

So the man sitting next to him jumps up and runs outside. He says to the genie, "I want a million bucks." The genie snaps his fingers, and a million ducks appear in the road. The man comes back inside and says, "Hey, that genie is a little hard of hearing." The man says, "Well, did you really think I'd ask for a 12-inch pianist?"

Ah yes, cremation. My last chance of having a smokin' hot body.

me: "you wanna see my dad" some kid: "yeah?" me: "close your eyes and he will appear" some kid: "he ain't appearing" me: "sorry i thought he would appear for you. he won't appear for me" *the kid laughs"

moral: not everything is supposed to be funny text if you notice what was really going on 🙃

There are two types of faces:

The handsome one, but the wallet is ugly.

Then there is this personal face full of bumps, but even they lack a wallet.

Helicopters fly because they are so ugly that the ground pushes them away.

I apologise for this joke lmfaooo, and you have probably heard this banger before, anyways;

What is the difference between a priest and a zit? 👀 The zit waits till you are 13 to come on your face 🤧

Wanna hear a joke about Donald Trump?

Ok, Melania totally married him for his good looks, believe me!

Your hairline is so far back that it goes all the way across the globe.

I wasn't staring at you; I was trying to figure out if that's your forehead or the moon.

Your forehead is so big, I thought you were Megamind for a second there.

Hey, you have something on your chin, no the 3rd one down.

If I had a face like yours, I would sue my parents.

If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence.

Your forehead's so big, it's built like Megamind's robot, period.

My wife called me ugly, and then when she found out how much money I actually make, she called me ugly and broke.

Yo mama so ugly she made happy meals cry.

Your forehead [is] so big [that] every time you shout, your forehead starts pulsing.

Sometimes I feel ugly, but then I think of my sister.

Yo mama so ugly she the reason why Slender Man has no eyes.

Doc: Can I help you?

Girl: Doctor, I have pain in my heart.

Doc: When did it begin?

Girl: Right now (seeing him like a doll).

Doc: Hh...do you like me? I know I am handsome...

Girl: No, don’t get me wrong. You just look like someone I know.

Doc: Who is that? Is your boyfriend?

Girl: No, it’s my pet (rabbit), his name is Rokie.