Anyway jokes
Kill yourself in anyway. I'm doing it the HIGHway.
My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.
Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.
The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"
Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."
The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"
Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."
The orphans all died!!!
Oh wait, no one cares...
Their parents are all dead anyway. We are just making them happier. They get to join their parents in hell.
What is this anyway?
When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.
So my ex, who wouldn't leave me alone because she thought I was the best person in the world even though Will has a better haircut than me, but anyway, when we broke up she said I was the worst person she ever met, and I told her she looks like a cross between a beaver and a mole rat.
Then I told her she has the Wendy's logo haircut and then some other things I'm not gonna say. 2 years of bullshit, I was done.
Anyways, she cried lol.
When an orphan takes a photo, it’s also a family portrait!
Btw, if people find these offensive, why are you here? Why are you searching orphan jokes anyway?
Hi!!!! So it has been a very long time, and I have seen that your jokes have been becoming more and more inappropriate.
Guys, you don't need to be inappropriate to be cool! You are awesome if you like school, and even if you are gay, or anything in the LGBTQ+ category. #PRIDE
Anyway, I myself am not LGBTQ+, but I don't think people who are should get shamed for it. I love you guys, and stay positive!!!
Luca’s Mom and Dad be throwing the kids into the fountain in the city, but they're sea monsters, so if they went to jail for that, they would be on death row anyway. 🤣
My mom and dad got home from a party pretty late. Why do I know? Because I was playing Minecraft all night.
Anyways, they get home and start fumbling up the stairs and being really loud. I could have swore I heard them fall down. I assumed they were drunk. I was just playing my Switch when they come into my room. Now I'm about 10 at the time so I watch them get undressed IN MY FUCKING BED! I then just stare at them as they notice me before I witness anything. They say that they were doing "intense kissing" the next morning. I believed that at the time, but now I've been to health class. I now know the truth. I wish I hadn't.
When I was a kid, my hamster died, so my mum bought a new identical one, hoping I wouldn't notice. It didn't matter anyway, since I beat that one to death, too.
"White on white crime, well ham rights crime anyway in Eastern Europe right now!"
Teacher: "I used to be an orphan once."
Student: "That’s sad."
Teacher: "Anyways, who is away today?"
Student: "Your parents."
Blitz: "HOLD ON! You better move that pussy wagon right now, or I’m gonna..."
Vortex: "You'll do what?"
Blitz: "Or I'll... uh... uh, I- I'll call HR!"
*Silence, then Verosika/me, Blitz, and Vortex bust into laughter. And then back to seriousness*
Verosika/me: "Anyway, meet my new Hellhound... Vortex. Unlike you, he actually does his job well." *leaves and flips Blitz off* "Ta-ta fuck stain."
I got in big trouble the other day, though it was pretty unfair. Babies kick pregnant women all the time, and yet I got arrested anyways.
What's life if you don't have one...
What do you call a deaf dog? As you like, he doesn't hear you anyway.
Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you fuck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR FUCKED NOW
Rape jokes are like your dad's dick. You don't want it but you still get it anyway.