Anti-jokes

Anti-Jokes

Poo

Roses are red, violets are blue, she is hot, but you're as ugly as poo.

Pattern

What comes next in the pattern, ottffs?

S, because it represents numbers going up: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

School

This isn't a joke, just an American back-to-school list.

1. Pencils

2. Binders

3. Paper

4. Pencil sharpener.

What, did you think I was going to make a school shooter joke?

Chicken

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he felt like it mind your f***ing business like damn.

Indian

An old Indian was buried on the side of a hill. What did he say?

Nothing, he was dead.

Friend

What do you call a best friend that smokes weed?

A pothead. Just because he's your friend, you don't have to support his poor decisions. Jeez, what has America come to?

Monkey

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed,

One fell off and bumped his head.

The momma called the doctor and the doctor said...

“We’re calling Child Protective Services.”

Calendar

Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar?

No?

They both got six months.