ANS jokes
Why can’t you kidnap an orphan?
Because you can’t steal what was never wanted in the first place.
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game? Adopt Me.
Go drop-kick an orphan. No one will know, not like his parents would know.
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn't want her, why would I?
Once I saw Donald Trump and an orange and couldn’t tell the difference 😂
Memes
What do an X-Box and Michael Jackson have in common? They're both made of plastic and little kids turn them on.
What do you call a bear without an ear?
B.
An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called "Lenin in Poland." When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests.
The painting depicts Lenin's wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky.
"But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?" asks one of the guests.
"Lenin is in Poland," replies the painter.
I only believe in 12.5% of the bible. I'm an EIGTHeyist.
A white dude walks up to a Muslim and says, "So you're an Indian?" and the Muslim says, "No brotha, I'm not 7-Eleven, I'm 9/11."
A guy wins a free ticket to the Super Bowl and so he’s very excited.
However, he’s not so excited when he gets there and realizes his seat’s in the back of the stadium.
So he looks around him for a better seat, and to his surprise he finds an empty seat right next to the field.
He approaches the older guy who’s sitting in the seat next to the empty one and asks if the seat is taken.
The man replies, “No.”
The young guy is very surprised to hear this and asks, “How could someone pass up a seat like this?”
The older guy replies, “It’s my wife’s seat. We’ve been to every Super Bowl together since the day we were married but she’s passed away.”
“Oh, how sad,” the young guy says, taken aback. “I’m sorry to hear that, but couldn’t you find a friend or relative to come with you?”
“No,” the man replies, “They’re all at the funeral.”
The Trump cocktail. Take a large glass and fill it with an ounce of everything behind the bar. Top it with whipped cream and a cherry. Now for the hard part: finding a Mexican to pay for it.
I arrived at work and saw a kid crying. I walked up to the kid and asked, "Hey, where are your parents?" and the kid just cried more. God, I love working at an orphanage.
An Indian guy and an American guy in a wheelchair met in a bar for drinks.
The American guy got drunk and fell on the sidewalk.
The Indian guy got drunk and walked away.
What would an orphan priest call himself?
Father Les.
Why can't an orphan go on a field trip? They don't have a parent's signature.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple? Apples get picked.
What's an orphan's favorite part of a website?
The homepage.
What do an orphan's parents have in common with Nemo? They all can't be found.
Why can you slap an orphan?
Are they going to tell mommy?