ANS jokes
I was swimming in a pool on my vacation when a fan of mine approached me. He said he wanted an autograph and gave me a pen to sign it. I accidentally dropped the pen in the pool. Suddenly, Penaldo came out of NOWHERE and dove to save it. He said he always dives for pens.
Today, I had an exam in school. When I was done, I raised my hand and yelled, “Pisstiano Penaldo!”
My teacher smiled and took my paper. She knew I was finished.
I saw an orphan in the grocery store and asked him, "Where's your mom?" and he cried. Why?
It's opposite day today. I'm gonna tell an orphan that their parents are here.
I asked, "Where are your parents?" and oh god, I love working at an orphanage.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell them to clap until their parents come home.
Why can't an orphan go to a field trip?
Parent's signature: ___________
If you're bored, joke about an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Yo mama's so stupid, she took a Covid test and got an F.
I’m like an escalator because I’m always letting people down.
What is an orphan's favorite song? "Lost Boy."
Lil Jimmy: Hey doc.
Doctor: Hi, sorry but I can’t see you anymore.
Lil Jimmy: Why?
Doctor: Because, Lil Jimmy, I’m a family doctor, you're an orphan.
Lil Jimmy: 👁👄👁🖕
What's the difference between an ugly monster and you?
Nothing.
What's the difference between an orphan and a vegetable?
The vegetable gets picked.
A Texan and an Alaskan walk into a room, and the Alaskan says, "My state is bigger." Then the Texan says, "It won't be when it melts."
New Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.
Students: Damn.
Teacher: Is anyone missing?
Students: Your parents!
What's the fastest thing on earth?
An Ethiopian with a McDonald's Voucher.
Why does an orphanage stay overnight at a school? Cause their parents won't pick them up.
What do you call an orphan family tree?
A tree stump.
So the coach got mad at me because I'm the only one on my team who is only a bit on the spectrum, and I was just keeping the ball to myself. The coach pulled me aside and said, "Pass to others." I said, "Why?" And he said, "There's no 'I' in 'team.'" I said, "Yeah, but there's an 'm' and an 'e.'"