ANS jokes
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple's actually get picked.
Why did the orphan get an iPhone X for his birthday?
Because it has no home button.
Why does an orphan wanna be a criminal?
Because they wanna be wanted.
What instrument can a skeleton not play? An organ!
What instrument can a skeleton play? A Trombone!
What do you call a selfie that is taken by an orphan?
Answer: A family photo.
What do Kurt Cobain and an emo kid have in common?
They both smell like "Teen Spirit."
I have a pen, I have an Apple, um, Apple pen.
The Taliban had a plane, the US had a building boom, 9/11.
What's the difference between an orphan and cotton?
One gets picked.
Why can't an orphan be gay? Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."
I once had an emo friend doing a course for the marines. He made the cut.
What happens when Rick Astley is getting an erection whilst singing "Never Gonna Give You Up"?
You get PRICKrolled.
Once an orphan got a girlfriend. He regretted it. She left him too.
When the quiet kid has an argument with the school shooter, and you didn't get to pull out the AK.
I saw an orphan in the grocery store and asked him, "Where's your mom?" and he cried. Why?
An American bully goes up to an English kid and says, "You're ugly!"
And the English kid says, "Well, wanna know why you can't play Jenga?"
"Why?" says the bully.
"Because you haven't got a tower."
I was reading a book about an immortal cat the other day; it was impossible to put down.
Last Halloween, I went dressed as a woman. When I rang the doorbell, an elderly woman opened it, and I made a grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands.
She immediately called the police and told them exactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First, he asked if my parents were here, and I said nothing. Concerned by my answer, he then asked if I was okay, so I said nothing. He asked me what my name was, and I responded, "Hellen Keller."
How do you blow up an Indian person?
You press the red button.
What’s the difference between a school and an ISIS hideout?
I don’t know, I just fly the drone.
Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
Because everybody that can run, jump, and swim is already in the U.S.