ANS jokes
Why do most guns in America have an average mag/clip size of only 30?
Because that's the average class size in America.
Where can you donate an aborted fetus?
Your local pizzeria.
What do you call an orphan when he's taking a photo?
Family photo.
An Asian walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do you, too, sing 'One Long Toy Cow'?"
The bartender says to the Asian, "Sorry, I don't speak Chinese."
What is the best whey to make friends with an American boy, you bunch?
Pro tip kids, you CAN hit an orphan because they can't cry to their parents!
I say, punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
What does Buzz Lightyear and an orphan's parents have in common?
They go to infinity and beyond.
What do an Apple and an Emo have in common?
They hang from trees.
What do you call a selfie that an orphan takes?
A family picture.
What do you call a skeleton with no arms? An un-armed skeleton.
What do you get when you beat up an autistic kid?
Mashed potatoes.
Please help, my dad is an addict. He won't stop, and he eats my food.
Sometimes I think, should I kill him? But nah, he will go down with the others who did that too.
What do you call a child predator and an illegal immigrant? Alien vs. Predator.
You just shot an unarmed man.
Well, he should have armed himself then.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Why can't an orphan play baseball? They don't know where home is.
What is an orphan's favorite movie? Spider-Man: Homecoming.
How do you make an orphan shut up?
You tell his mom.
An Ob-Gyn asks a lady to put her feet up on the stirrups.
Doctor: My God, you have the biggest vagina I’ve ever seen!
Woman: You don’t have to say that twice.
Doctor: I didn’t.