ANS jokes
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap till their parents come home.
If I get an atom, I would split it with you.
Did you hear they’re making an Elmo toy to appeal to the Tourette’s crowd?
I believe it’s called the “Tic Me Elmo.”
I made an orphan's website, but there was no homepage--because they don't have a home.
Yo mama so ugly, her birth certificate was an apology.
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Wait, they don't have any.
If an orphan took a picture, what would you call it? A family photo.
What do an orphan's parents and Nemo have in common?
They both can't be found.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple tray? The apple tray gets picked.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?
Apples get picked.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They can't find their way home.
What is an orphan's least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
When you have an ex, you will notice that the word "ex" is short for "executed," so that's there for yous.
Your forehead is so big, you got an eight-head.
Yo head so freaking small, people thought it was an expired grape.
I scanned an emo girl's arm the other day. Now I own her, only 3.99 with tax. That's a steal and a half, woopeeee!
One day, someone's ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat, and her ex-boyfriend was there and gave her an apple. Next minute, she had chlamydia. What did the boyfriend do?
If you get an apple a day, what does it give you?
Worms and rotten fruit.
Why can't orphans have an iPhone?
They can't find the home button.
I was bullying an orphan, then I said, "What, you gonna run home and cry to your mom?"