ANS jokes
What do you call an injured Panera Bread?
Panera Bled.
What do you call an Indian?
Person in red. Cart a pack of Maltesers.
What do you call an orphan’s family tree?
A stump.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because they can't find home.
Your mum is so fat, when the doctors did her x-ray, the doctor said to her, "I want your x-ray, not an elephant's x-ray!"
If I had a dollar for every time a rap hater made an intelligent statement, I’d be more broke than the rap haters.
Why did the rapper carry an umbrella?
For when he made it RAIN in the club.
Your mama is so fat. Her high school picture is an aerial photograph.
The 11th of September is considered 9/11 in America. The Twin Towers fell on 9/11 in 2001, but to call an emergency in America, you dial 911! 😮 You could say they dialed that correctly.
I tried to get into an emo bar, but I didn't make the cut.
Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
Abortion clinics don't do deliveries.
Q. Why did the boy fall off his bike?
A. His mom threw an oven at him.
What do you call an angry Panera Bread?
Panera slapped!
If Stephen Hawking was an Xbox... he just red ringed and rose up to GameStop.
What do you call an appetite including apples? Appletite.
There was an enemy with a machine gun.
My commander said, "Un-arm the enemy."
So I ran over to the enemy and chopped his arms off.
Why can't an orphan go on away games?
Their parent will never show up!
I know a little girl who once had an accident. When I asked her what her favorite song was, she responded with "🎶Head, shoulders, wheels, and frame! Wheels and frame!🎶"
What's an orphan's favorite sport?
Tennis because it's the only love they'll get.
Mr. Nobody: Water you thinkin's happenin', Ol' Mr. Atlantic?
Mr. Atlantic: Something Smells Fishy...
Mr. Nobody: Well, duh, you idiot! You're an Ocean!
Mr. Atlantic: WTH!?!?????