ANS jokes
A guy once went hunting at a Hunting Ranch owned by a Hunter and his Wife. After a long day of hunting, the hunter enjoys a couple of cold ones in Rancher’s Living-room. There they were having a grand ole time until the Rancher’s wife walks in. The Hunter looks at her and says “that’s a nice piece of ass you got your self there.” The Rancher replied “(with a harsh southern accent from years of cigarette smoke) You’ve never been so right in your life, honey why don’t show our guest your tits.” She agrees and then shows the hunter her plump DD cup breast. After he gets a good gander he says “Nice.” Then Rancher shouted “show em yer peker now Hon.” She agreed and whipped out a 13inch Johny, and twirled it around like how an Elephant would move his. Now dazed and confused the Hunter yells out “What in Sam Hill is that!!” and the Rancher replied “Now....Lemme tell you..There ain’t a thing like it”.
Kid: Dad, I want Santa to give me an iPhone.
Indian poor dad: Son, Santa is deaf.
Kid: No, he is not. I saw him on TV yesterday.
Indian poor dad: Oh, actually, I asked him for a new wife. Maybe he is wearing AirPods.
Kid: You are my Santa, daddy.
Indian poor dad: Pull down your pants, son.
Kid: It's not an Apple product.
Indian poor dad: It's a banana.
Why does sour cream have an expiration date?
What's the difference between a 14-year-old boy and an 8-year-old boy?
The 14-year-old is on top, the 8-year-old is on the bottom.
What's black and red and goes 90 miles an hour? A baby in a blender!
What's an old man's favorite food?
Wrinkled onions.
Me: You know your parents were very good people.
Orphan: Wow, I didn’t know that.
Me: I know, you're an orphan.
Why does an orphan go to church?
So they can call someone "father."
Why is an orphan like a boomerang? Because they always come back.
If there's ever a shooting at school, pull out an Uno reverse card.
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What type of flower do you give an orphan?
A self-raising [flour].
What's an emo's favorite game?
Hangman.
Why was the orphan's first phone an XR?
Because it had no home button.
You can't send an Indian to walk a corner. The only corner they will get to is 7-11.
An orphan goes into a bar, and the bartender says, "I'm sorry, you need parent permission to enter."
There was an emo kid in their room, boom, they're all gone, now.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it's the only thing that comes back to it.
What's the difference between an orphan and cotton?
Cotton gets picked.
What do you call an orphan you put into a volcano with a wheelchair?
Hot Wheels.