ANS jokes
Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle.
A man from Brooklyn is arguing with an Englishman. He says things like,
"It's an elevator, not a lift!"
and
"It's a bathroom! Not 'washroom'!"
He keeps going on until the Englishman says,
"Hey wanker, it's a school, not a god damned shooting range."
When an orphan takes a selfie, it's a family photo.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
What does an eighty-year-old woman have in between her boobs that a twenty-year-old woman doesn't?
A belly button.
I tried to adopt an orphan. The card got declined harder than the child did.
I was going to tell an Asian joke, but it's too Wong.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
If you ever get mad, just hit an orphan.
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Why does an emo wish they were a fish?
Because they're underwater.
I hope Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, 'cause I need some parts for my go-cart.
Want to hear an inside joke? I walked into a house. Want to hear an outside joke? I walked out of that house.
I never knew what my dad's job was.
One day, at school, I got a scam phone call, later, I got another, and another. I finally had enough and answered the phone, but to make an impact I said "Hello?"
My dad answered...
Why are there only 362 days in an orphan's calendar? They don’t have Father's Day, Mother's Day, or Family Day.
What can run, be an eyesore, and practice social distancing?
Your hairline.
An Indian has a seat between two Pakistani's on board an airplane.
It's quite obvious to each of the three men where they are from. The Indian asks, "Pardon me gentleman, you wouldn't mind me sitting between you, do you? This is my seat, after all."
The Pakistanis look at each other, and then look back at him. One of them smiles and says, "Not at all! After all, Pakistanis and Indians are brothers! Are we not?"
The Indian is delighted at how warm and friendly they are, and he takes his seat. Shortly the plane takes off and the three guys are just chilling until the Indian says, "You know it's going to be a long ride and I am getting thirsty. Brothers, can I get any of you like a drink?" Then one of them says, "Yes brother, I would like a Coke!"
The Indian slips off his shoes and walks barefoot to where the stewardess is at, and when the Indian is out of view, one of the Pakistanis spits into his shoe. The Indian comes back and gives him a Coke.
Then the other Pakistani says, "You know what brother? I would also like a Coke too!" The Indian happily obliges, and as soon as he is out of view, he also spits in his shoe before the Indian gives him a Coke.
Finally, the Indian slips on his shoes and suddenly realizes how wet they are. He shakes his head and says, "Brothers! Why must we do this to each other, spitting in each other's shoes and peeing in each other's Cokes?"
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple? An apple gets picked.
What do you call an orphan in Alabama?
A virgin.
We asked our teacher many times for an atlas, and he said, "At last, you can have one!"
What kind of cake can an orphan not have?
Homemade.