ANS jokes

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple actually gets picked.

A boy was terrible at writing sentences, so his teacher gave him an assignment to help with that. The boy was to go home, write five sentences, and return to school the next day.

When he went home, he took a notepad and a pen and went to his dad for help. His dad was in a very important business call, so he angrily shouted at the child, "Shut up, you donkey!" The boy noted down that sentence. He next went to his mom, who assumed that he wanted to play video games, so she said, "No, my dear, tomorrow." That was his second sentence. For the third sentence, he went to his older brother, who was watching football where someone scored a goal, so he was jumping up and down yelling, "Goal! Goal!"

For the fourth sentence, he went to his sister, who was singing, "Spider-Man, Spider-Man!" For the last sentence, he went to his grandmother, who was cleaning the toilet and singing, "Under the toilet, under the toilet."

He went to school the next day, and his teacher asked him to tell her the sentences. The boy said, "Shut up, you donkey!" The teacher got angry after hearing this and asked the boy, "Do you want me to slap you?" The boy said, "No, my dear, tomorrow." This made the teacher so angry that she slapped the boy. Immediately, he started jumping up and down yelling, "Goal! Goal!" The teacher dragged him to the principal's office, as she was fed up with him. The principal asked the boy what his name was, to which he replied by singing, "Spider-Man, Spider-Man!" She asked him where he lived, so he sang, "Under the toilet, under the toilet."

What's the difference between a grape, an apple, and an arm? You don't slice a grape.

What does a blind kid and an orphan have in common?

They can’t see their parents.

What do you not say to an Emo if you want them to come round? "Wanna hang out."

What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?

One gets picked.

What is the difference between paying $50.00 to receive an anonymous blow job from a physically challenged gay white male who is also a sex worker at a glory hole and paying $175.00 to receive an anonymous blow job from an able-bodied bisexual white female who is also a sex worker at a glory hole?

If you give $50.00 to receive an anonymous blow job from a physically challenged gay white male who is also a sex worker at a glory hole you are saving yourself $125.00. 💸😁

I was excited to watch Fast and Furious because of Dom Toretto, then I realized family is nothing to me 'cause I'm an orphan.

Tell world's best yo mama joke to an orphan, then watch them cry.

What's the difference between a bird and an emo?

Birds fly.

If an orphan takes a selfie, isn't it basically a family portrait?

Why can't an orphan be gay?

Because they have no one to call daddy.

What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an orphan?

An orphan has all their teeth intact.

Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because he can't hit a home run.

What do you call an Asian? A stupid gook.

There's an orphan in my class... For some reason, he never leaves.

What's the difference between a Chinese person and an old person?

One lasts long and another doesn't.

What’s it called when an orphan takes a photo?

A family picture.

An orphan was shocked, he called the ambulance. If he forgot he's suicidal, he quickly hung up.

A kid annoyed me the other day. I told him to shut up and go back to his parents. That's the last time I'm going to an orphanage.