ANS jokes
There is a twist with being an orphan: every bag of chips is family sized.
Why did the orphan have an iPhone X? Because it didn't have the home button.
What do you call a fish with no parents?
An orfin.
Fun fact: If you're an orphan, you probably don't know your parents.
Bread is like an orphan: plain and stale and no fam.
An alien goes to Area 51, but I wonder why he doesn't go to your house?
If you ever get mad at an orphan, punch them in the face... What are they going to do, tell their parents?
An orphan died. No one cared, why? Who is supposed to spread the word? His parents.
A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.
He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."
Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate because it's lunchtime. The guys ask the man to do a favor, and he says, "Sorry guys, I have a lot on my plate!"
I bought my son an Xbox in 2017. It’s now 2018, and I’m still waiting for him to open it.
Yo mama's so fat her belly button has an echo.
Why is being an electrician the easiest job in the world? It's literally light work.
What is a victimless crime in the state of Michigan if you are an able-bodied man who is well-endowed, not white, and not a heterosexual male?
A white male who is heterosexual and physically disabled who is sodomized by an able-bodied and well-endowed gay male who is not white inside the men's locker room at the gym.
What do you call an American house?
A gun safe.
How to make an orphan die?
Tell them to yell until their folks come home.
Why don't churches have Wi-Fi?
They don't want to compete with an invisible power that actually works.
An Emo kid in a tree falls. At the same time an apple falls from the same tree, what hits the ground first? The apple would be due to the kid's rope and noose.
Why can't an orphan watch T.V.?
Because it can't find the home button.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where the home is.
Also, what do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family photo.