ANS jokes

Q: What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?

A: The abortion clinic doesn't deliver.

What is the difference between a normal kid and an orphan?

A normal kid has a family.

I was given an invisibility cloak by my grandfather, but it was stolen in 2013. After investigating this issue, I have come to the conclusion it was Robert Lewandisney.

That's why he was invisible in every big game since 2013. SHAME ON YOU LEWANDISNEY!

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a third of a beer. The bartender bellows, "Get the hell out of here, are you trying to ruin me?"

Tell an emo, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"

Yo mama so dumb, she thought "The Squid Game" was an all-you-can-eat buffet.

What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?

Kids turn them on.

What does a deaf person and an orphan have in common? They both can’t hear their parents.

Why can’t an orphan go to Family Dollar? They don’t have a family.

Don’t mess with an emo because if their friends pull up, you gotta fight the suicide squad.

I saw an orphan take a selfie... oh man, that was one alone family photo.

A 17 year old pregnant Juanita flew all the way to NY from TX to get an abortion. Initially, she was denied the procedure because she wasn't COVID boosted, but after she explained the father was religious and wanted to be involved, they quickly resolved the threat.

I wish I could follow you, though.

But you need an account so I could follow you, but you don't have one. :'(

What's the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?

One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer; the other's just a watermelon. 😁😁

When an orphan takes a photo, it’s also a family portrait!

Btw, if people find these offensive, why are you here? Why are you searching orphan jokes anyway?

What is an orphan’s favorite game? Adopt me.

If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Why are there only 363 days in an orphaned year?

Because they don’t have a father's or Mother’s Day.

Why does an orphan play mum and dad?

'Cause they need self-love.

I never knew what my dad's job was.

One day, at school, I got a scam phone call, later, I got another, and another. I finally had enough and answered the phone, but to make an impact I said "Hello?"

My dad answered...

Roses are red, lemons are sour, open your legs and give me an hour.

How did Stephen Hawking die?

Somebody threw an EMP at him.