ANS jokes

What’s the difference between an egg and a wank?

You can beat an egg.

Did you hear about the old Italian chef?? Yeah he pasta away.

Then a man walked comprehending to be him. Everyone knew he was an impasta.

How did Stephen Hawking die?

Somebody threw an EMP at him.

If you put an amputee with no limbs in a snuggie, it becomes a stubbie.

What do you get when you cross a chicken and a horse?

An animal abuse warrant.

I told my friend an egg joke yesterday.

He thought it was eggcellent.

What is the difference between an American and an orphan?

They don't have a home to get their guns.

What is the difference between an egg and a wank? You can beat an egg, but you can't beat your...

In the new Grinch, the Whos would say he stole Christmas, "Get him!" Then the Grinch said, "I'm an orphan!" That changes everything. The Whos said, "What would they do if Max was an orphan?"

What do you call an orphan?

A bootysnagger45.

Hi everyone, my mom got me an iPad today, and this is really cool. Can someone tell me what decapitation is?

What did the cow call its own life? An udder mistake.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They don't know where the home is.

Also, what do you call an orphan taking a selfie?

A family photo.

Why can't you teach an orphan new tricks?

Because there is no one to teach them.

What do you call a black person scuba diving? A black diver (an armor set from DeepWoken). Did anyone laugh at that, or?? Augh, I guess I'm alone.

Why can't an orphan watch T.V.?

Because it can't find the home button.

What does an abortion joke and a fetus have in common... The joke never gets old, and neither does the kid.

This isn't an orphan joke, but I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.

I once saw an orphan... I decided to ask them a simple question... "Hey! Where is your family?"

They didn't reply.

I kept asking them. They started crying. I started laughing. They ran away...

What do you call a AK-47 that lost 1 point?

An AK-46.