ANS jokes

An orphan went up to Nikola Tesla and asked to travel in time. He then saw his parents put him in a building, saying, "You now live here!"

If you ever get mad at an orphan, punch them in the face... What are they going to do, tell their parents?

Why do golfers bring an extra pair of socks? In case they get a hole in one.

There is an upside to being an orphan.

Every bag of chips is family size.

Why did the orphan have an iPhone X? Because it didn't have the home button.

What part in the body does an adult not need but actually needs to live?

A KIDNey!

What do you call a fish with no parents?

An orfin.

What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?

A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.

I’ll pat your breasts, pat your breasts, cos I’m a baker’s man, and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I’ll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", And then throw you in the fire cos you’re now worthless to me!

Why can’t Helen Keller jump out of an airplane?

It scares the shit out of her dog.

So, I was at the gas station drinking a Slurpee when I heard an old lady start talking to me. She says, "Hey, can you check my balance?" so she could buy a chocolate bar.

So, I pushed her over and said, "Not much."

A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?

A woman.

What is a victimless crime in the state of Michigan if you are an able-bodied man who is well-endowed, not white, and not a heterosexual male?

A white male who is heterosexual and physically disabled who is sodomized by an able-bodied and well-endowed gay male who is not white inside the men's locker room at the gym.

An American walks into an Afghan bar. Joke, Afghanistan doesn't have bars because of the Taliban.

What do you call a AK-47 that lost 1 point?

An AK-46.

I saw a kid crying today. I asked him where his parents were.

I love working at an orphanage.

What does an iPhone have that orphans do not?

Home buttons.

Why does an orphan want to be a prostitute?

Because they want to call someone "daddy."

Why do orphans always have an iPhone X or above?

So they don’t have a home button. 🤙🏼

What is an orphan's favorite store? Home Depot.