ANS jokes

What thing can an orphan do best?

Stay at home alone.

Mommy, Mommy, are you an archer?

"Shut up and keep the apple on your head still."

I asked an American if their national anthem was "Pumped Up Kicks."

Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?

Kid: I don't know why.

Man: Because they have a family plan.

Kid: Well, I need to get another phone service now.

An Emo walked up to a tree and put his hand up for a high-five.

But the tree left him hanging.

What do you call an emo kid playing with fire?

Forgot to clean little piece of dust.

Why can't an orphan play baseball? They don't know where home is.

What is an emo's favorite game?

To delete Cut the Rope.

What does an orphan and a dog have in common?

Both got taken from their parents.

When an emo asks you to hang out under a tree...

What's an orphan's favorite toy?

A boomerang because it actually came back.

Q: Why is it good being an orphan?

A: Because the family sized bag is all there's.

When I got to school, they gave me an Acer laptop, so I went up to the teacher and aced her.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple? Apples get picked.

Some kid online: I f*cked your mom.

Me, an orphan: Jokes on you, I don’t have one!

I saw an ad that said, "By the time this ad is over, two identities would have been stolen." So, I did what I had to do and skipped the ad! You're welcome to the two people's identities I saved!

If you drop an emo and a piece of paper out of a tree, you know what will hit the floor first? The paper, because the rope will stop the emo.

Why can't an orphan be friends with Dom Toretto?

Dom doesn't have friends; he has "family."

Why did an orphan say, "I'm wanted?" Because they wanted to feel a lie in their life.

If you want to punch someone, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?